


King of One

by amy_lupin



Series: The Other Side of the Coin [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Immortal Merlin, M/M, Modern Era, POV Arthur, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Past Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) - Freeform, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 05, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15574779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amy_lupin/pseuds/amy_lupin
Summary: Arthur finds out he didn't die after all, but everything around him is different, including Merlin.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a sequel to "The Other Side of The Coin". I suggest you read it so that you don't get confused about some of the past things mentioned here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first scene was based on [this gorgeous fanart](http://whimsycatcher.tumblr.com/post/47322993826) by whimsycatcher.

The first thing Arthur felt was cold. It surrounded his entire body like a blanket. His first instinct was to fill his lungs with air, but for some reason his mind told him to keep holding his breath tight. He tried to move, but his limbs were half-frozen and abnormally heavy. It felt like he was floating underwater, his ears buzzing with the pressure.

He opened his eyes and they stung.

There was darkness surrounding him and he could barely see his own naked skin, but there was some light filtering through the thick water, making the sparkles of dust shine. Feeling his lungs constrict from lack of fresh air, Arthur forced his legs and arms to move, kicking and pushing himself towards the light.

He gasped and coughed as he reached the surface. He shuddered, his teeth clashing uncontrollably as he shivered, struggling to keep himself afloat. Even his lungs seemed frozen, refusing to fill all the way up, forcing him to take shallow breaths.

Arthur looked around, trying to get his bearings. It was night, although it was strangely bright around him. He could hear talking and laughter close by and he turned towards it. There were some odd looking constructions on the closest shore of the lake he was in, and bright spots of light were hovering above the air in some intervals, as if someone had captured the stars and hung them right there. There was a shadow close to the shore and Arthur only realized it to be a person when they stood up from their crouched position after spotting him.

_ Merlin _ , Arthur thought, but then he realized the figure was too round on the shoulders and waist to be his bonny manservant. He saw a flash of white hair and white beard at the movement. It stirred something on his mind, something he should know, but he could not remember. Arthur cursed, looking around himself. Why was he in a lake at night? Why was he naked? Where were his clothes? His chainmail? His sword? What if this person was a saxon?

Arthur heard a splash and looked towards the shore again, seeing the old man - no, there was no white hair nor beard at sight, Arthur must have imagined it - stepping in the water with hesitant steps. The lighting behind him turned it hard to make out his features, casting his face in shadows. The woolen hat the man wore was not helping on that matter either.

“Arthur?” asked a familiar voice from afar.

Arthur gasped. It  _ was  _ Merlin after all.

Arthur wanted to shout back at him, but he did not have enough breath and his chin was trembling uncontrollably now. There were more questions forming at the back of Arthur’s mind, but he had more pressing urges, like getting out of the water before freezing to death. He started to swim towards his friend instead of wasting precious energy in talking and Merlin begun to run, the water splashing around his legs.

Arthur’s feet met the mushy ground when he kicked to keep himself from sinking down and when he stood up the water was at his chestline. He kept on walking as Merlin strode closer fighting his own battle against water resistance, fully clothed as he was. What a waste of some good warm clothes, Arthur lamented to himself.

He had a glimpse of a dark short beard, and long strands of hair curling below the woolen hat before Merlin enveloped him in a tight hug, making Arthur expel what was left of his breath.

Arthur did not mind, though, for Merlin was warm and soft. Arthur realized the furry coat must have been to blame for Merlin’s seemingly bulkier frame, since his shape was narrow and familiar beneath it. Merlin had a foreign smell on him, sweet as lavender flower and robust like freshly harvested cotton and his facial hair was rough against Arthur’s cheek, yet Arthur felt relief flooding him as he shuddered inside the cocoon of heat made by Merlin’s arms.

“ _ Mer _ lin!” Arthur managed to huff as his muscles relaxed after too much tension, unlocking his jaw.

Merlin pulled him away then and Arthur nearly whimpered from the loss. He allowed Merlin to take him in, his eyes round and his lips parted as if in shock while he surveyed Arthur’s face and chest. Arthur could see a mop of dark hair escaping from the hat brim around his ears and bordering his eyes, the locks longer than Arthur had ever seen him wear. His lips looked plumpier and more reddish surrounded by the dark stubble. Arthur frowned at it. The last time Arthur saw him, he had been-

Arthur felt something prodding carefully at his left side and looked down to see Merlin’s fingers sliding over it in wonder, his skin almost as cold as Arthur’s chest as they had been unprotected by the fingerless glove. Arthur felt a stab of pain there, distant as an echo, and shied away from the touch. He stared at the spot right below his rib cage and, despite there not being any sign of wound anymore, he knew it had been there before - was it just yesterday?

Shivering and bracing himself from the cold air against his wet skin, Arthur remembered. He gasped, taking a step back.

The next moment, Merlin surged forward to grab hold of his arms. “Arthur!” He called, his eyes round with worry once again. “What is it? Are you feeling alright?”

“I'm damned cold, Merlin.” Arthur cursed between gritted teeth, eying Merlin's coat as if it had offended him. “Where are my clothes?”

Merlin huffed a laugh, his eyes filling up with tears as the corner of his lips pulled slightly up before he brought Arthur to another suffocating hug.

Arthur was too stunned and frozen to protest. He clung back to Merlin’s clothes as the memories kept coming - the battle, the mortal wound, Merlin’s magic, Merlin taking care of him, racing against time towards a lake they would never reach in time, Arthur in Merlin’s arms, the tears of despair forming on his eyes...

“You’re back!” Merlin whispered, sounding amazed and his hands roamed Arthur’s back, his clad palms rough against Arthur’s nearly frozen skin. 

Back? Where had Arthur been? How long had he been gone? He thought he was dying! Well, whatever had kept Arthur away, it certainly explained Merlin’s unkempt looks.

Arthur grabbed hold of Merlin’s coat, intending on keeping him close, both out of cold and relief. There was a comforting warmth spreading through Arthur’s body starting from his chest and the points Merlin’s hands touched him, running down Arthur’s spine and limbs. He allowed his mind to focus on the heat and the touch only for a moment. 

Arthur could sense Merlin’s sobbs shaking him and listen to his sniffing, but he could not think of much to say to comfort his friend with so many questions unanswered. “Shh, it’s alright. I’m fine. I’m here. You made it, you saved me.”

Instead of making Merlin’s sobs stop, his words caused Merlin to cry harder still. Arthur allowed Merlin some venting out, but when he did not seem any closer to calming down, Arthur started to look for a way of distracting him.

Now considerably relaxed and less shivering, Arthur risked opening his eyes again. He surveyed the strange lights over Merlin’s shoulders, listened to the voices coming from nearby and... Was it music coming from the direction of a brightly lit hut? A tavern, perhaps?

“Where are we?” He asked.

“Uh…” Merlin pulled back, wiping the tear tracks on his sleeves, his eyes puffy and his voice rough from crying. “It’s, uh… It’s a long story, Sire.” He hesitated before starting to take off his own coat revealing a soft looking tunic beneath it. “I’ll explain it to you soon enough. Let's get you warm first.”

He helped Arthur put on his coat as it caught on Arthur's wet arms. Merlin’s hands were shaking a bit as if he was the one nearly freezing his bits off. The coat was long like a vest and a bit tight on the arms and shoulders, but served its purpose as it covered Arthur’s nakedness, the furr caressing his skin.

Merlin took off his scarf next and placed it around Arthur's neck, then proceeded to do the same with his woolen hat, covering as much of Arthur’s wet hair as he could manage. “Come,” he called, keeping one hand at Arthur's back as they walked towards the shore. He was still sniffling a bit, but seemed to have gotten ahold of himself, focusing on his task.

Arthur held the coat close to his body as they left the water, expecting the drenched fabric to tangle in his limbs, but it remained unnaturally light-weighted for a coat that big covered in fur and soaked wet, except...

Arthur stopped, looking down on himself. It wasn’t wet at all. He looked at Merlin, finding his clothes as dry as his own.

Merlin scratched the back of his head, looking close to panicking. “Uh. How- How much do you remember of-”

Arthur rolled his eyes at him. “Shut up, Merlin,” he said, not bothering to act like he meant it and resumed walking in the direction Merlin had been leading him to.

For a moment, Arthur thought Merlin had actually taken offense, but he soon heard a snort.

“Well, I dare say your manners hadn’t changed one bit, Sire,” Merlin said as he set pace with him.

“Why, Merlin, I thought you had missed me.” Arthur was glad to fall back into bantering with his friend to keep some semblance to normalcy, as opposed to the foreignness of the place.

“Whatever gave you the impression?”

Arthur was about to remind him of all the crying and hugging from moments before when something else caught his attention. As they approached the village, Arthur heard a distant and constant noise, like the purring of a cat. He had dismissed it at first, but it was growing louder and louder as it seemed to be approaching fast.

Arthur stopped Merlin by extending an arm. “What's that?” he asked, looking around to see if he could find some weapon to defend them.

“What?” Merlin asked and Arthur wondered if he was deaf, for the noise was like a nonstop roar now.

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted in alarm at seeing something approaching, moving fast towards them, it's unnaturally shining eyes looking angry and unforgiving. He grabbed Merlin by the clothes, pulling him out of the way just when it run past them like a spooked horse and continued on, unstoppable.

“Oh!  _ That _ !” Merlin said as he disentangled himself from Arthur's grip.

“What in God's name was that?” said Arthur, standing up as well and looking towards where the beast had disappeared while closing his coat against the biting cold.

“Um, it's a carriage… of sorts. You’ll see a lot of those around here, I hope you don't panic every time we come across them.”

Arthur was about to protest he had seen no horses pulling the so called ‘carriage’ when he realized Merlin's last comment. He straightened his spine. “Panic? Me?”

Merlin refrained from responding and kept walking ahead.

Arthur pulled a face. “Where’s my sword, by the way?”

Merlin’s shoulders sagged as he looked back at him. “It’s safe, I promise. But I think it’s better if you stay away from it for now, for everybody’s sake. Now would you care to follow me before you freeze your toes off?” He did not wait for an answer before resuming his walk.

Arthur huffed an indignant breath, but followed him at a slower pace. He looked up to the bright lights and noticed they were not hovering, but fixed on top of some tall wooden poles. He saw the thin rain drops before he could feel them on his face.

“Is this your doing, Merlin?”

Merlin looked up as well. “What? The rain?”

“The lights.” Arthur looked down again, blinking. He noticed the black ground in front of him. It was smooth like a tapestry, extending both ways in front of a big - if a bit confusing - castle, with too many doors, windows and turrets, as if it had been built separately and then mashed together. Arthur tilted his head to the side, trying to make sense of what he saw.

“Come on,” Merlin grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him towards the dark road. It was firm and rough against Arthur’s bare feet like unpolished stone. “I’ll explain everything later, I promise.”

Arthur looked both ways as they crossed the road, watchful of any sudden movement, but there was no distant roar to be heard this time. His eyes were caught by so many unfamiliar things he did not know where to focus. There were metal boxes and poles, shiny and colorful surfaces in the most bizarre shapes, unfamiliar smells, confusing sounds... He heard animated talking and suddenly there was a group of people walking towards them.

They wore odd haircuts and curious looking clothes with bright colors and strange patterns. Arthur tensed up at spotting them, his hand moving instinctively towards his sword - or were it should be - but Merlin kept his look ahead of the group, his hand firm on Arthur’s arm, keeping them on the move. They did not seem to be armed and carried on talking and laughing as they walked by. They spoke a foreign language and some of them stared at Arthur as they passed by, probably taking in his wet hair and bare feet. Arthur hugged the coat closer to his skin. He was starting to shiver again.

“Here.” Merlin pulled him towards one of the many doors of the castle, stepping in without further announcement.

“Whose Kingdom is this?” Arthur asked as he followed Merlin up the stairs.

“Later,” Merlin hushed to Arthur’s frustration, ushering him inside after peeking both sides.

“Whoever it is, they have a strange taste. Or extremely lousy servants. I never saw a castle so badly constructed!”

It looked smaller on the inside, its walls white and narrow. Arthur looked up searching for the torches, but had to look higher, finding those strange orbs of light so bright it made his eyes sting.

“ _ Merlin _ !” Arthur shouted as he blinked, trying to see past the strange shapes forming ahead of him. They did not disappear even when he closed his eyes. “My eyes! What’s happening?”

“Shh! Keep it down,” Merlin whispered as he caught hold of Arthur’s arm again, making him steady his pace. He grabbed the edges of the coat and held them closed against Arthur’s chest. “Don’t look straight at the lights. And don’t let go of your coat. The last thing we need is to call attention to ourselves, otherwise my neighbors might call the- the guards on us.”

The forms dissipated from Arthur’s eyes as they continued moving up. Sometimes, Arthur had a glimpse of closed doors and he thought he could hear muffled talking through them, but no one came out to call the guards on them. After too many steps to count, they crossed a narrow corridor, stopping in front of a wooden door. Merlin opened it with a tiny little key. He reached for something on the wall and Arthur stumbled back when white, blinding light flooded inside.

“After you, Your Highness.” Merlin had a tiny little smile when he motioned for Arthur to enter what seemed to be his personal chambers. Arthur was glad to notice he seemed to have calmed down enough to act like his sassy self again.

Arthur had expected to find something like Gaius’ old chambers, with pots and plants scattered around the place, but there were none of that. Instead he found a brand new round of strange contraptions and impossible shapes.

“Well, I know it’s not much, but it’ll have to do for the both of us for now,” Merlin said as he stripped off his gloves.

“It’s… weird,” Arthur concluded. “Even to your standards.”

He could not begin to figure out what half of the things were, so he moved to the window to peek outside. It was open, but there was no freezing wind blowing inside. In fact, it was pretty cozy inside Merlin’s chambers, despite the lack of a burning fire in the small hearth, so much so Arthur did not bother to keep his coat closed.

He could see the lake from up here and there was something familiar about the little island in the middle of it. He moved closer to look down, but knocked his head on thin air. “What the hell!”

Merlin was laughing as he came closer. “You have to open it first.” He knocked on something. “It’s transparent glass. See?”

Arthur could not see a thing, but he thought he could make out his own faint reflex as he moved closer. He placed his hand in a cold see-through surface.

“You can open it here,” Merlin showed him how to unlock it. “But I’d advise you against it. It’s freezing out there. And you’re… well…” His eyes dropped to Arthur’s chest and lower before he looked away, clearing his throat. “I’ll, uh, I’ll find you some clothes. Would you like a hot bath, Sire?”

The smirk that had begun to form on Arthur’s lips before Merlin’s sudden embarrassment and the obvious change of subject turned into a moan when he pictured himself immersed in warmth. “That’d be great.”

“Alright. It’s probably for the best if you don’t touch anything while I’m preparing it.”

Instead of waiting, Arthur followed him towards a smaller inside chamber and promptly startled, stepping back. “Who’s in there?” he asked, alarmed.

“Me?” came Merlin’s voice and, when Arthur peeked back inside, there were two Merlins, with equal questioning expressions.

“Is this a mirror?” Arthur asked, stepping inside at once and beaming at his own clear reflexion.

Apparently, there was a wide and expensive looking mirror affixed on the wall covering its almost entire surface. The reflexion it provided was as clear as if Arthur were looking at another person. He had never seen himself so vividly in his entire life! Arthur extended his hand to touch it in awe, his movement slow and hesitant.

After testing its polished surface and marveling at the quick disappearing fog left by his fingertips, Arthur curled his upper lip at his own reflexion, taking the hat off and watching his own hair stand in every direction. “I’ve got to say, Merlin, this coat is dreadful, but it’s still an improvement to your old brown jacket.” He looked at Merlin’s strange choice of clothing. “I’m not sure about those, though. And what’s with the hair and the beard. Is that even real?”

Arthur stepped closer to examine it, this time intentionally neglecting to pull the coat closed, but Merlin turned away to fuss with something at the corner of the narrow place, turning his back on him.

“I haven’t cared to shave in a while,” Merlin said, and Arthur noticed the way Merlin avoided looking at his direction.

Arthur frowned. Merlin hadn’t been embarrassed at his nakedness ever since the first year at his service, and they surely had shared too many intimate moments in the past decade for him to start again all of a sudden. What could possibly have made him self-conscious now? 

As much as that reaction was bothering him, Arthur had no time for examining it now for he had more pressing things in his mind at the moment.

It was strange seeing Merlin in such a different look. And quite unsettling too. It made him look like a complete stranger. Was he in disguise? Like when he turned himself into an old man?

Arthur turned back towards his own reflexion, examining it. He took the scarf from around his neck and held the coat open wide to see the unmarred flesh below his left rib cage. There was no sign of a wound, present or past, no scar, no reminiscent pain when he prodded at it. It was as if he had never been hurt in the first place, only he could remember the pain very vividly, the numbness, the heaviness of his limbs. He had been so sure he would not survive. Had Merlin really managed to save him after all?

His attention was diverted when he heard the sound of pouring water. It was flooding inside the smooth white bathtub - what was it with all the brightness of this place? - in a constant flow, coming from a metallic pipe. When Arthur put his hand on it, it was blissfully hot.

Arthur sighed, shaking his head in reproach. “And to think you could have heated my bath this easily and never cared to!”

“It’s not magic,” Merlin claimed blatantly.

This time he didn’t avert his eyes from Arthur’s body as he helped him out of his coat, but he had a clinic air about him, as if he was all business.

“I’ll explain it later,” Merlin said again before Arthur’s clear disbelief.

Arthur was far from convinced, but he was happy to sink down in the rapidly filling bathtub, keeping his head below the still pouring water. 

Merlin instructed him not to touch the metallic contraptions near the pipe so that he did not scald himself. He handed Arthur a strongly scented bar of soap and the washcloth and turned around to leave saying something about getting him some clean clothes when Arthur called him back.

“Hey, aren’t you forgetting something?” Arthur said and watched as Merlin looked around the small chamber, frowning.

“Um… No?”

Arthur waved the soap and the washcloth in his hands. “Do you expect me to wash myself now?”

“Oh,” Merlin said as if it hadn’t even crossed his mind until Arthur pointed it out. “Right.”

“What are you waiting, then? You can get my clothes later.”

Merlin hesitated for a moment before walking back and taking the soap from his hand. Soon the place was filled with the flowery smell coming from it. Whoever owned this castle should be very rich and eccentric.

“Why so many strong smells?” Arthur asked as he brought the bar soap to his nose while Merlin scrubbed his back. “Are these people trying to cover up something? Like smelly feet? I bet they couldn’t hunt if their life depended on it. Any animal could smell a predator from across the realm with this scent.”

“There aren’t that many animals around here. Not the type you’d eat, anyway.”

“See?” Arthur said knowingly. “I have to admit this bathing sistem is ingenious, though. I want one of these in Camelot.” He thought he felt Merlin hesitate for a moment, but he resumed scrubbing after making a sound of awareness - or grunting, Arthur couldn’t be sure without looking at him. “How do you think they-” Arthur’s question was cut off when Merlin threw a handful of water on top of his head to wash off the soap, filling his mouth with the profusely bubbly water. Arthur sputtered. “So much for the fragrancy; it sure tastes awfully! And I wouldn’t mind some warning next time.”

“Keep your mouth shut,” Merlin said and Arthur barely had the time to register the words before Merlin threw another handful of water on his hair. “There,” he said, touching Arthur’s shoulder so that he could rest his back on the tub again. He extended the bathing cloth to him. “You can finish cleaning yourself now.”

Instead of accepting the cloth, Arthur held Merlin’s stare as he grabbed his wrist and pulled him gently until Merlin’s hand was touching Arthur’s chest. “Why the hurry?”

Merlin’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, his eyes lowering at Arthur’s wet chest, his face coloring faintly. For a moment, he just stood still, then he began moving the cloth slowly over Arthur’s skin, seeming mesmerized by it. Arthur felt relief wash over him as well as satisfaction. For a moment he had thought Merlin was avoiding getting too intimate, but he recognized the barely concealed desire in the way Merlin’s lips parted and his chest heaved.

Arthur extended his hand to cup Merlin’s rough cheek, making him look up. He thought about telling him the facial hair didn’t suit him or calling him out for the scruffy looks, but something in his manservant’s eyes showed so much vulnerability Arthur ended up simply moving forward to kiss him.

Before their lips could meet, though, Merlin jerked back wide eyed, losing his balance and falling on his bottom. “Um,” he averted his eyes as he got up. “I’ll get a fresh towel.”

He was out before Arthur could say a word. Arthur frowned as he looked down at the abandoned cloth. What on Earth had just happened? What was going on? Why was everything so foreign in this place? Why was Merlin acting so weirdly?

He forced the questions and the uneasiness caused by Merlin’s reaction out of his mind for now, convincing himself it probably had a reasonable explanation, even though he failed to grasp it just yet.

By the time Merlin came back with a towel, Arthur had already finished bathing, although he was reluctant to leave the warm water. Merlin acted like nothing extraordinary had happened, rushing him to get up and get dressed. Arthur only complied for the promise of getting some answers to his accumulating questions. They followed to another inside chamber - this one with a proper looking bed - and Merlin helped him into some wonderfully comfortable clothes.

“Is this what the lords around here wear?” Arthur asked as he manhandled the soft fabric. The breeches did not have laces nor seemed to need them; they stretched impossibly at the waist when he pulled them and slapped back on his hip bone when he let go.

Merlin seemed amused at that. “Er, no? It’s just worn out cotton. I use it to sleep.”

Arthur tried to appear unimpressed then. “They smell nice, for a change.”

“Thank you, Sire. How about I make you some tea now? Or do you want to have supper first? It’s a little late, but I think I can order something in. Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” Arthur admitted, feeling his stomach hollow and aching. “I feel like I haven’t eaten for ages! I could probably devour an entire boar by myself.”

.oOo.

Supper was brought in by someone speaking that foreign language - probably a servant of the castle - and the very smell caused Arthur’s mouth to water. It was a flat round bread with hot cheese and spices - Merlin called it by an odd sounding name Arthur could not bring himself to repeat - and it was the most delicious thing Arthur had ever tasted, or it might have been the hunger talking.

Merlin disappeared again while Arthur had his dinner sprawled out on the pillowed chair - the couch, as Merlin had called it - standing in the middle of the huddled place wondering why hadn’t he got one of those in his own chambers. Sometimes he listened to some strange noises and startled, stopping to watch the peculiarly shaped objects surrounding him suspiciously, but most of the sounds seemed to come from outside - except for a continuous tick-ticking he later discovered to come from a round object enclosing some sticks, one of which was moving around it in time with the noise, as if perpetually enchanted.

Merlin showed up again freshly washed up and shaved and Arthur hummed in appreciation at the familiar look, although Merlin’s hair was still long enough to fall close to his eyes. Only after Arthur was done eating and settled comfortably on the soft chair with a steaming cup of non-medicinal tea in hand Merlin started to talk in a somber tone, taking the seat across from him.

Arthur was not sure if he was listening it right at first. After the initial shock of hearing he had died and had stayed dead for over fifteen hundred years, his mind kept wandering and he had to ask Merlin to repeat himself over and over again after realizing he had not been listening to a word.

According to Merlin, everyone Arthur had ever known was long dead - Guinevere, Gaius, his Knights -, Camelot had fallen to the saxons despite Arthur’s victory at Camlann. It had all crumbled to dust by now.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Arthur said as he paced the room. He came to a halt then, eyeing his servant suspiciously. Merlin seemed convincingly serious and worried, but the words coming out of his mouth were absurd! Arthur looked around them. “Nothing makes sense in here. Am I dreaming?” He wondered out loud.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but you have to trust me, Sire.” Merlin seemed to articulate every word cautiously. “I’m not fabricating this.”

“I don’t think you are,” Arthur said, turning back to look at Merlin closely again. He narrowed his eyes.

Arthur had overcome his previous suspicion of Merlin’s loyalty. He trusted Merlin with his life, he always had! Yet, what if this wasn’t Merlin after all? What if someone was messing with his head? Morgana, perhaps?

No, she was dead. Merlin had killed her, Arthur had seen it happening.

Or had he? What if Arthur was actually dead or delirious?

And, most importantly, how could he distinguish reality from delusion?

“How about you?” Arthur asked warily. He had a sudden remembrance of white hair and beard. He searched for wrinkles on his servant’s face or any sign of the passing of the time, but found nothing. Merlin looked exactly the same, apart from the grown hair. “If what you’re telling me is true, how come you’re still alive after all this time?”

Merlin averted his eyes. “I stopped aging after you died. I can make myself look older if I want to and I often keep the illusion of an old man whenever I want to pass unnoticed, which is most of the time, I guess. Your return was prophesied. They said you were to come back when Albion’s need was greatest, although I never knew exactly when it would happen, so I kept around, waiting.”

Arthur gaped skepticly at him for a moment. “For fifteen  _ centuries _ ?”

Merlin did not say a word.

Arthur resumed his pacing around the room. This was insane. Was it one of those strange nightmares he was living? It seemed too much even to his imagination to come up with. He urged Merlin to continue talking, asking question after question.

“Why would I be alive again?” he inquired, unable to keep the anger from his voice. This wasn’t right. People did not come back from the dead. People did not live for that long without aging a day. It wasn’t natural. He eyed Merlin suspiciously. “Did you bring me back?” Arthur looked around, searching for the Horn of Cathbhadh.

“No!” Merlin said, looking hurt by the accusation. “I’m not a necromancer, I wouldn’t risk bringing back an empty shell like…” He shook his head. “It doesn’t even make sense! Why would I wait this long to bring you back, if it had been in my power?”

“Why were you at the lake shore, then?”

“I don’t know! I had a feeling I should come to the lake and I just… followed it!”

“You had a funny feeling?” Arthur scoffed.

Merlin opened his mouth to argue, but then his shoulders sagged in defeat and he rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “Yes. I guess you can say that.”

Arthur paced some more, trying to work out everything he had been told so far. Either this was really happening or Arthur had gone insane. Did crazy people question their sanity?

Arthur cursed, running his fingers through his hair. He wasn’t going anywhere thinking like this. He had to assume this was his reality now. He looked around himself and realized he knew close to nothing about this time and age. He glanced towards the window when he heard another roaring noise, probably another of those beasts - no, carriages - crossing the road bellow. It was a strange world he had woken up in, and it was beginning to scare him.

“Sire?” He heard Merlin’s timid call. “I know it’s a lot to work out, but you have to believe me when I say I’m as lost at this as you are.”

Arthur sighed, turning around to face Merlin’s afflicted eyes again. Despite it being hard to believe, Arthur had no reason to mistrust Merlin.

“I don’t know how you came back,” Merlin continued. “All I know is that you died-” he swallowed, closing his eyes tight. When he spoke again his voice was quavering. “You died in my arms.” He looked down at his own arms, taking in a shaking breath. “I couldn’t let you go, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. It didn’t feel like it was over. We were supposed to accomplish so many things together! I couldn’t bear for you be sent back to Camelot and buried with your father and the other dead Kings nor burned in a pire. It looked like you were sleeping so  _ peacefully _ . So I put you in a boat and sent you floating towards the gates of Avalon. And then all I had to do was wait.”

Arthur’s throat was constricted when he swallowed. Merlin’s voice had sounded so small in the end. He looked so pained it was heartbreaking to watch. For a moment, Arthur pictured himself in Merlin’s place, cradling Merlin’s dead body in his arms and his breath hitched.

Arthur stepped back to where Merlin was sitting, his eyes lost, his chest heaving. He gently placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and waited until Merlin looked up at him, his eyes searching. Arthur wanted to wrap his arms around Merlin again and comfort him, yet he knew this would only make Merlin cry harder, and there was still so much for him to learn!

“I believe you,” Arthur assured him. “We’ll figure this out together, alright? And I’ll need you to tell me everything you know. No more secrets, Merlin.”

Merlin nodded slowly, blinking a few times to dissipate the tears. “I promise.”

Arthur squeezed Merlin’s shoulder one last time in appreciation before sitting down next to him again. Their legs touched so lightly it could pass as unintentional. He begun by asking for a detailed telling of what happened following his demise.

According to Merlin, Camelot had spent over thirty years of peace and prosperity. Apparently, Guinevere had been as loved and fair a Queen as Arthur had believed her to be, at least until the mourning period run out and the lords started to pressure her into marrying again. Somehow, the Council managed to find a distant cousin of Arthur’s on Uther’s side for her to secure her upcoming offsprings’ claim to the throne, but he was an old and greedy man, according to Merlin, and Guinevere refused to go through with it.

It soon became clear she could not hold the respect of Camelot’s nobility for longer without giving in on something. Before they could push her into marrying another of Arthur’s distant relatives or a random widowed royal or lordship, she announced her marriage to Leon, despite the Council’s warnings that their eventual offsprings would never stake a claim to the throne.

“Leon!” Arthur shouted, feeling betrayed. He should be happy for them. If someone deserved a second chance at being happy, this someone was Guinevere and he could not think of anyone more worthy of Guinevere’s love and care than his second in command. Yet it was hard to work his head around the feeling of being stabbed in the back by someone whose loyalty he had never questioned.

“She had to marry someone, and he was the only one she trusted enough,” Merlin was quick to defend his friend, probably thinking him to be jealous.

Arthur looked up at him, finding Merlin studying him back closely, as he had been doing after every bit of particularly shocking news. Arthur wished to bark at him to stop treating him as if he was about to break, but all it took was one look to his servant’s serious face to talk himself out of it. It was not Merlin he was angry at, he had to keep reminding himself.

“Were them happy?” Arthur asked instead.

Merlin frowned some more. “I guess they were.” He looked down. “I must confess I wasn’t the most dedicated of friends. After you...” He cleared his throat. “After you were gone, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to Camelot.”

“Why?” Arthur wondered out loud. What could possibly have kept Merlin from coming back to the place he had called home for the past decade - at the time? Merlin had always been one of the fiercest defenders of Camelot. Had it all being an act? Had he done it only to please Arthur?

Merlin swallowed hard, his eyes welling up again. “I tried to go back once, after Gaius passed away.”

Arthur closed his eyes at the pain of the loss. Gaius had been an old man, it was only to be expected that he had been the first to die, but knowing it to be logic did not stop it from aching all the same.

“Gwen asked me to take his place as Court Physician and she nearly lost her good grace with the Council by lifting the bane of magic, as long as it weren’t used for evil, but…” Merlin’s voice wavered for a moment. “I kept seeing you at every corner and I couldn’t stay away from Avalon for too long, afraid that you would come back and I wouldn’t be there to welcome you back, so… I promised to stay only until she found a replacement and she had a skilled physician sent from Annis’ lands before I came back here.”

Merlin wiped his nose. Arthur was touched by his sadness and he reached out to place a hand on Merlin’s knee in encouragement.

Merlin resumed his story. “Percival and Leon came here often to see me, bringing news and provisions, although I kept assuring them I could take care of myself. I also had a crystal - I don’t know if you remember the Crystal of Neahtid?” He asked, looking up at him.

Arthur frowned but nodded, remembering invading a druid camp to retrieve a magic crystal. It was disconcerting and wonderful at the same time hearing Merlin talk about magic so freely. For a moment he envied Guinevere for being able to do what Arthur had never dreamed possible: achieving peace with magical users and non users alike. Arthur had been so influenced by Uther's hatred he hadn't even tried.

“I took it with me when I left Camelot,” Merlin continued, setting on an almost detached tone. “I can command it to show me anything, from past to present and near future. So I kept an eye on what happened in the citadel and traveled back often to attend some function when Gwen insisted or when they were having trouble with some sorcerer abusing their power, but that was it. They seemed to make each other happy, Leon and she.”

Merlin seemed lost in the past for a moment before resuming talking in an impersonal tone, as if telling a tale, something long forgotten. Percival had died a few years later from a nasty battle wound when defending their borders. He had lost too much blood when Merlin found him, after seeing it through the crystal a bit too late.

Leon was next. He fell from his horse and had his body crushed from the animal's weight. He lost one leg and half of the other before Merlin could tend to him. He never fully recovered from it, and his organs begun to fail one after the other.

“How about Gwaine?” Arthur inquired after realizing Merlin hadn't mentioned him.

Merlin’s mask of indifference threatened to crack as he took a deep breath. “He died after Camlann, a day before you, as I learned later. He was tortured by Morgana while trying to keep her out of our way to Avalon. He didn't survive the wounds.”

Merlin listed some of Guinevere’s doing as a Queen then, probably trying to ease the blow of her unavoidable passing. She had kept the people of Camelot safe and leaded the Knights with her fierce mind and reasonable strategy. She had joined them on the field many times to keep them motivated and acted every bit like a leader short of brandishing the sword herself. She had been a fair judge and a caring regent to all of her subjects.

“She died in her sleep. She had been sick for a while. I had tried curing her two times already, but her lungs were too weak and she got sick again and again. She wouldn't stay in bed, though, stubborn as she was, until she fell from the stairs and broke her pelvic bone,” Merlin explained. “After that, her condition worsened quickly and one night her heart just stopped beating. She was sixty two.”

Merlin sniffled, giving Arthur some time to process everything he had learned.

“Who succeeded her?” Arthur finally asked what was bothering him for some time now. When he died, he hadn't thought that far ahead.

Merlin looked hesitant for a moment before answering. “There was an uprising for the throne after her passing. Her eldest son wasn’t considered of royal blood and-”

Arthur gasped from the shock of it. “They had children!”

Merlin nodded, watching him carefully. “Two boys. She was forty two when she gave birth for the first time and asked me to assist her, for it was considered very risky at her age. But she hardly needed me there for more than moral support; she had gotten it all figured out by herself, like she was a natural mother. The second came one year and a half later, but then Leon had his accident soon after that…”

He stopped his babbling when Arthur showed no reaction whatsoever to what he was saying. In truth, he did not know how to react. He felt numb with shock. Again, he should be happy that Guinevere had finally gotten what she most desired, but he couldn’t move past his own resentment. They should have been Arthur's children, not Leon’s!

“I thought she couldn't conceive,” Arthur admitted almost dejectedly.

Merlin cleared his throat. “You know, medical knowledge has expanded greatly since then. It's a known fact that men can be sterile as well as women.”

Arthur’s head snapped up. “You mean I’m the one to blame? I couldn’t impregnate her?” He asked, thoroughly offended.

He shouldn’t feel so angry at that, since he already felt responsible for not giving Guinevere what she craved the most, but knowing it was actually his fault was disconcerting. He felt less of a man.

“No, I mean, it’s a possibility,” Merlin tried to take it back, his eyes round with regret. “But you’d have to be tested to be sure. There's still a chance you might be able to- I mean, like I said, you’d be surprised with how much science has evolved...”

Arthur rubbed at his eyes tiredly. What was the point in dwelling in this? He didn’t even have a wife anymore. And it wasn’t like he was planning to marry again. He had failed his chance to have children, it didn’t make a difference whose fault it was.

The Disir’s curse came into Arthur's mind all of a sudden. He felt his heart constrict. “An uprising, you said?” he pressed, changing the subject.

“Yes,” Merlin said gravely. “Camelot was split in three factions, whereas Guinevere’s offspring’s supporters were the smallest and weakest of all.”

According to Merlin, Guinevere’s eldest son had inherited her kindness, but lacked her resolution and natural charisma. The nobility did not accept him for he had no royal blood whatsoever and the peasants judged him weak. Uther’s distant cousin had been gathering followers for years, waiting for a chance to stake his claim on the throne and didn’t waste any time to strike. There was also a general amongst the Knights who had been accumulating power and persuaded his troops to take the castle from within. Meanwhile, the surrounding Kingdoms had long fallen to the saxons and they waited until the Kingdom was weakened by the internal dispute to attack with full force.

Merlin looked more troubled than ever all of a sudden. “I was certain you’d come back to save Camelot, so much that I kept stalling from going to their aid until it was too late. When I finally accepted that you wouldn't be coming and got on the move... The castle had been completely destroyed by the time I arrived, the fields were on fire, there was women screaming-” Merlin sobbed and lounged to the floor at Arthur's feet. “I'm sorry I failed you again, Sire-”

Merlin broke down on uncontrollable sobs and Arthur was completely lost for a moment. He could almost see it in his mind, like a nightmarish vision. Camelot taken by the saxons, the castle that had been his home for so long turned into ruins, his Knights decimated, his people unprotected, their crops destroyed, their houses burning, women and children left as spoils of war…

What was to become of him now? Should he still call himself royalty? What was a King without his Kingdom? His lands, his castle, his people, they were all gone.

All but one.

Arthur looked down on the man crying desperately at his feet. The man who had waited centuries for his return, with nothing but a prophecy to hold on to. If Arthur, in his short life, had so many regrets, what was to say of Merlin after going through so much on his own, watching everyone he loved waste away and die.

Arthur got to his knees in front of Merlin and pushed him up, holding his shoulders to keep him upright and searching for his eyes. “It's alright, it wasn't your fault,” he tried to calm him down.  “You are not to blame for Camelot’s fault. I am.”

“What?” Merlin said, looking up with tears in his eyes. “No!”

Arthur shook his head, swallowing the lump in his own throat. “My father was right. My choices ended up weakening the Kingdom.”

“No, they didn’t!” Merlin insisted. “You did everything right! It was all my fault. I should have stopped your death and I should have stopped the saxons when they attacked again!  If only I hadn't been so selfish to think-” He gave up on trying to talk, grabbing hold of Arthur's wrist and crying openly.

“Perhaps you could, but you said it yourself, they had taken all the neighboring kingdoms, it was only a matter of time before they took Camelot too.”

“I could have saved the people. I could have negotiated their safe passage to another Kingdom.”

Arthur sighed. He had no arguments against that, although he honestly had some trouble believing Merlin had done absolutely nothing to help. “What did you do, then? You turned your back on them?”

“No!”

“So tell me what happened.”

The question made Merlin stop to think rationally. “Well...” he started, whipping his eyes.

It turned out Merlin had put the saxons to run by summoning the white dragon and making it chase them around the fields. He offered treatment to the wounded and eased the passing to those beyond salvation; he helped burying the dead and offered his shoulder for those left to cry on; he assisted the farmers in saving what was left of their crops and helped retrieve what little was left of the villagers’ provisions. He also helped the survivors finding shelter in nearby villages.

Later, Merlin had found out Guinevere’s sons were being kept as slaves by their attackers and helped them escape, hiding them in Ealdor.

“Was your mother still alive?” Arthur asked, although he could already guess the answer.

Merlin shook his head sadly. “She died soon after Gaius. She had been ill for a long time, but kept it from me, forbidding anyone to send word. I only learned when she was nearly dead. I saw her bedridden on the crystal and traveled as fast as I could, but only got there in time to say goodbye.”

Arthur felt condolence for the pain in his servant’s voice. Once again Merlin had been too late, and all because he could not bring himself to leave Avalon, to leave him behind. Suddenly, his own anger felt petty and selfish. What was his suffering compared to Merlin’s? Arthur’s fingers itched to reach for Merlin and pull him to an embrace, to sooth him and tell him everything was going to be alright now. Yet there was so much he didn’t know! So many questions unanswered still!

Arthur stood up and walked towards the window, stopping just before his head bumped the glass again.  He watched the lake’s surroundings and tried to identify the hills and the forests they had crossed before he died, but everything around it had changed so much it was hard to accept that it was the same place . “Have you ever left this place?”

“I’ve traveled the world at some point,” Merlin’s voice was distant again, naked of feelings. Arthur did not need to look back to know his eyes were unseeing, his mind lost in the past. “I told myself in and out of believing in your return during all those years. I blamed you, I blamed the old gods, but mostly I blamed myself for not saving you when I had the chance. I started to believe this was my punishment. Surviving. But I kept coming back again and again, trying not to hope and failing every time. Whenever something big happened - and there have been wars, mass sacrifices of innocent people, catastrophes and natural disasters one too many… Whenever one of those things happened, instead of offering my powers to help, I stayed here, planted in the lake’s damp mud like an old, useless tree.”

At some point of his speech, Merlin’s tone had changed into something close to self-hatred. Arthur frowned, looking back at his friend with growing worry. Merlin’s fists were closed against his thighs and his muscles seemed pulled tight.

“This prophecy, what did it say?”

Merlin blinked, as if waking up from a dream, his features softening slowly. He looked to the side and Arthur followed his eyes to the hearth. Merlin extended his hand and the fire burned in the logs in an instant. Merlin moved his hand up and a dragon lifted from the embers, bigger than the one he had conjured before. It flew around the chamber and Arthur couldn’t help but flinch away from it, but it landed on the floor beside Merlin.

When it spoke, it’s voice was rough, but it’s tone was soft, almost fond. “ _ Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason. Arthur is the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion. But he faces many threats from friend and foe alike. Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion. _ ”

The dragon extended its wings and flapped them a few times, just enough to lift itself towards Merlin’s outstretched arm, landing softly on it. There was something familiar about the dragon, and considering Arthur had only come across two of those creatures in his whole life, it was not that hard to figure it out.

The Great Dragon continued his speech, his focus never wavering from Merlin. " _ Though no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny, some lives have been foretold, Merlin. Arthur is not just a King. He is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again. _ "

The dragon vanished as if blown by the wind, leaving Merlin with a bereft expression on his face. “You were destined to bring magic back to Albion and I was destined to keep you alive until then. We were two sides of the same coin, they said.”

Arthur felt goosebumps at those words. He almost could hear them coming from the dragon, in a husky and gentle tone.

“Only I failed my destiny and kept you from fulfilling yours.” Merlin looked up at Arthur then with a frown. “Now it seems like we have a second chance.”

A second chance indeed, Arthur thought, although probably not for the same reasons Merlin believed. He did not think he could trust those prophecies and talks about destiny. He believed in people and what they were capable of. And he believed Merlin had suffered too long with the weight of all those expectations upon his shoulders; it was about time he shared them.

“Why am I back now, of all times, then?” Arthur asked, suddenly worried. “Is Albion in need?”

Arthur looked out the window once again, but found the view as peaceful as before. Surely there were some uncanny things out there, he thought at seeing another one of those horseless and noisy carriages rolling by the black road, but they did not seem to do any harm, and although the bright lights had nearly blinded him for a moment, it had not been anything permanent.

“I don't know,” came Merlin's hesitant voice behind him.

Arthur walked back to Merlin and sat down on the floor beside him, resting his back on the small table there. “Is magic outlawed again?”

Merlin frowned, bringing his knees close to his chest and hugging them. “Magic has been slowly disappearing from the world ever since you were gone. It's been some time since I came across any magical creatures or any other magic users. The legitim ones, I mean.”

“What about those carriages?” Arthur asked, suspicious.

Merlin shook his head. “That's not magic. None of what you've seen out there has anything to do with it.”

Merlin begun to explain about something called “mechanical” and “electrical” forces. The words were foreign and sounded like terrible diseases. Arthur had to ask Merlin to repeat them a few times before he managed to articulate them. Apparently, they could created energy from movement and small explosions and used it to bring ‘life’ to inanimate objects. To Arthur, it sounded a lot like magic, but Merlin insisted it had nothing to do with it.

Merlin said electricity was a force of nature, the power that caused the lightnings in a storm, and the evolution of scientific study allowed humankind to control it, like turning the lights on and off, which he demonstrated by flicking a bulging knob on the wall. He also was adamant that Arthur should try it for himself.

“You see? People don't need magic nowadays! They actually don't believe it ever existed! I could use it right in front of their eyes and they’d dismiss it as an elaborated trick! I mean, there’s still magic in nature, I can feel it, I can channel it, but it feels like it’s hiding, like it’s dormant...” He paused for a moment, looking warry. “What is it?”

Arthur had been so engrossed in the explanation he hadn't realized just how animated Merlin had turned halfway through it. Arthur figured he should have been staring transfixed for some time and looked away, clearing his throat. “It sounds…” He shook his head. “I don't know, it's a lot to grasp.”

Merlin nodded his understanding. “I know, you’ll probably need some time to process it. Maybe I’m going too fast?” He ended it with a question. “Do you want to get some rest?”

Arthur considered it for a moment. It seemed to be late at night, but he could not tell, since the lights kept him from actually seeing the skies. He did not feel tired, though. His mind was alight with thoughts and so many questions he doubted he would be able to sleep if he tried.

“There will be time to rest later,” he said at last. After all, it was not like he had any function or council meeting to attend. “I want to know everything.”

Merlin huffed good humoredly. “Well, I doubt I could tell you everything in one night, but I can certainly get started on some of it. Where should I begin with?”

Arthur had realized how excited Merlin had gotten while talking about magic and he wondered if he had ever had someone to talk about it lately - or about anything at all. Did Merlin have any friends? He did not seem to be a servant in this castle. Did he have a title? Did he have a family?

Arthur blanched at the possibility. Had he gotten married at some point of his life? Had he had children of his own? Did he have someone now? A lover? Was this the reason why he hadn’t allowed Arthur to kiss him earlier? For Arthur, it seemed like hours since he passed out by the shore of Avalon in his lover’s arms, but it had been centuries for Merlin.

It felt like Merlin had suddenly been forcefully pulled away from his reach, the distance between them growing every second Arthur thought about it. What if Merlin didn’t feel the same about him anymore? What if he had moved on? What if he had finally realized how undeserving of his devotion Arthur actually was? What if he had found someone else who treasured him and treated him with all the love and respect he deserved? Someone who had earned his love like Arthur had never cared to?

Arthur yearned and dreaded the answers for those questions. It started to down on him how much those lost years might have cost him. Just when he thought it couldn't get much worse, he learned he might have lost something he never thought he could lose.

Unwilling to face that possibility at the moment, Arthur forced those thoughts to a corner of his mind and focused on keeping Merlin from wallowing in his sorrows for what could have been, or what he should have done better. He wished to see that glow on Merlin’s face again, the one he had showed just moments ago, which had turned into confusion now as he waited for Arthur to elaborate what he wanted to hear.

Arthur stood up and extended a hand to Merlin. “Come, let’s have a proper seat.”

Merlin looked at Arthur extended hand and back to his face before reaching with his own hand. They grasped each other’s forearms and Arthur helped him to his feet. They sat on the bigger couch, facing each other. Merlin looked expectant.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Arthur purposed. “You said you used magic on the very first day we met. How can this be? You were still wet behind the ears then!”

Merlin’s frown eased at that and he smiled softly, almost nostalgically. “Well, I was born with magic. I started using it before I learned to speak. I didn’t need enchantments to move objects around, all I needed to do was think about it and it’d happen. Actually, that’s exactly why my mother sent me to Camelot, in the first place...”

And so Merlin told him about his childhood in Ealdor, about having to hide who he was since a very young age, about his childhood friend finding out and his mother sending him in search of Gaius’ help, the only magic user she knew - which also happened to live in the most dangerous place for a magic user to be -, in a desperate attempt to make him learn to control his powers.

From then on, Merlin’s narrative forced him to look at things he thought he knew of through a shocking new perspective.

As Merlin told story after story about how he had interfered with Arthur’s plans using magic, turning the table on their favor on most occasions, Arthur’s mood wavered from disbelief, denial, affront, shock, hurt and anger, not necessarily in that order.

“How could you?” was a recurring question he burtled out every now and then.  _ How could you keep this from me? How could you do this? How could you let me do that? How could you be willing to sacrifice so much for a prophecy? _

Every time, Merlin met him with some smart remark or petulant retort, although Arthur could tell he resented Arthur’s tone. Only Arthur was too accustomed to point his finger and lash out at Merlin to refrain himself in time, so he mostly accused first and regretted it later.

Despite the murderous looks and curses Arthur sent towards his friend, most of his anger was aimed at himself. How could he have been so blind? How could he have been so foolish? Had he really missed all those details? Or had him pointedly ignored them in favor of his unquestionable trust in his most loyal friend?

All his life, Arthur had been taught to hate magic, but at some point he had started to fear it above all. He was no match against such power with his skills as a swordsman; how could he possibly control those who used magic? Perhaps he would have given it a second thought, had he known he had someone by his side who could match it - or better, overpower it - should the need arise. Yet, there was nothing he could do about it now and it frustrated him all the more.

Time passed inexorably, although Arthur had a hard time keeping track of it. Merlin, on the other hand, had a hard time following a timeline and would often mention things Arthur had no idea about, which then forced him to abandon that line of thought to go back in time and explain how things had come to that point. Sometimes, Arthur’s mind wandered and he had to ask Merlin to repeat himself. Other times, they would both stop talking, lost in their own musings.

After the third cup of tea, Arthur had to use the chamberpot. He asked Merlin where he kept it and watched a blank look on his face for a moment before his eyebrows shot up and his lips formed an ‘o’. For some reason, he laughed then.

“Come here, you’re going to love this,” Merlin said and guided him to the bath chamber, where Arthur learned about the toilet and the sewer system. In the end, Arthur had to agree that it was clever, not to mention convenient.

After that, Arthur thought it best to change topic, for the sake of their sanity. He knew there was still much to learn about Merlin’s doings during the time they shared, but he was beginning to feel antsy for the amount of things he had missed during all those years.

Merlin started to enlighten him about the political scenery they were in, although he warned he was trying to summ it up so that Arthur could understand without the full history background. As it turned out, they were not in a castle, after all. Arthur was shocked to learn about the decline of monarchy and its substitution for another kind of ruling, one where people could choose their regents amongst themselves, despite their bloodline, and the chosen ones would rule during a few years, at most. Apparently, Albion - or the United Kingdom, as Merlin explained - was one of the few monarchies left around the world and the royal power was quite limited.

At some point, Arthur noticed Merlin clearing his throat whenever his voice threatened to break, sipping at his tea to keep his narrative going. He also tried to hide his yawnings, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Arthur was startled to realize the night had already given way to the brightness of morning, although the skies had remained cloudy, hiding the sun from view.

“We should get some rest,” Arthur said. He felt tired to the bone, although he wasn’t sleepy at all. His mind was racing with wandering thoughts and he knew he would not be able to sleep if he tried, but he also knew Merlin couldn’t go on like this for much longer.

Besides, Arthur had too much to think about as it was.

“Right,” Merlin said, grabbing Arthur’s empty mug as he got up. “I’ll show you to the bed in a moment.”

Merlin took him to the chamber with the double bed, babbling about the rigidness of the mattress and the worn out sheets as he replaced them for clean ones. “I know it’s nothing like you’re used to, I mean, the sheets need ironing, and I’m quite sure they don’t make pillows that soft anymore. Something to do with posture and back ache-” He interrupted himself to yawn at the back of his hand. “I’ll see if I can find something more suitable for a King in the morning, although I really-”

“Merlin,” Arthur said after assessing his surroundings, noticing Merlin’s things spread around the room.

Merlin looked up while fluffing the pillows. “Hm?”

“Are you married now?”

Merlin seemed surprised by the question. “No! Why do you aks?”

Arthur pointed to the double bed. “I’m assuming this is your chamber and there’s room enough for two in there.” He sounded more accusing than he intended.

“Because I like space!” Merlin said, looking a bit annoyed. “This is my house and I’m allowed to want to sleep comfortably by myself, you know?”

“Alright!” Arthur said, raising his palms in surrender. “No need to get all defensive. I was just wondering, since…”

‘Since I seem to know less about you than I thought I knew before’, he reflected, feeling hurt by the mere realization. And the worst part was that he was afraid to ask any further. He didn’t think he could handle the answers to his questions just yet.

“Nevermind,” Arthur said at last. “Is there a guest chamber in this house?”

Merlin scratched at his nape. “There’s a spare room, but it’s crammed with some of my stuff.” He waved his hand in dismissal, going back to his task. “Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll clear the other room by morning. Or afternoon, more likely.” He stopped in the midst of trying to flatten out the blanket and straightened up, his shoulders sagging as he sighed. Arthur had a glimpse of gold on his eyes before the sheets smoothed out obediently. “There you go.”

Arthur stared at the bed, suddenly finding it too big. “I’ll sleep on the couch, then,” he said, averting Merlin’s eyes. He remembered too well the day Guinevere had chastised him for barging into her house uninvited and kicking her out of her own bed. “It’s only fair, since this is  _ your  _ house.”

Arthur made it to leave the room, but Merlin circled the bed and stood in front of the door to stop him.

“No, no, no, I insist you take the bed!”

Arthur took in Merlin’s familiar features from up close. He searched for a hint of discomfort or insincerity, but found none. “Only if you share it with me,” he said before he had a chance to talk himself out of it.

In the brief moments that preceded Merlin’s reaction, Arthur’s heart thundered with anticipation. His forced confidence was starting to waver and he began to regret pushing his luck.

For some reason, Merlin blushed then, looking away.  “Arthur… I’m really tired-”

“I know. I won’t try anything, I swear,” Arthur said, panicking. “We’ll just sleep. And cuddle,” he added boldly. “I mean, if you feel like it.”

Merlin stared back at him, frowning. “Are you sure?”

Arthur gave him an eye roll, pretending not to be too anxious for his answer. At least there was still a chance he wouldn’t be rejected this time. “It would hardly be the first time, Merlin. Besides, it would save you the trouble of coming here every now and again to make sure I’m still breathing.”

Arthur watched Merlin’s shoulders sag again before he rubbed at his bloodshot eyes.

“Alright, I’ll join you in a moment,” Merlin said at last and Arthur blew the air out of his lungs, relieved. Perhaps things hadn’t changed that much between them, after all, although it felt like there was still a long way to go before they reached the same level of intimacy.

Arthur looked down on his tunic, holding the edge and trying to figure out how to pull it out. Merlin seemed to realize his struggle, for he offered to help him. Arthur climbed on the bed then, bouncing a little on the mattress to test it. It was a bit too firm to his likings, but he thought it best not to voice it as he got comfortable laying on his side.

Before leaving, Merlin touched an object beside the bed and it lit up, making Arthur exclaim in surprise. Merlin drew the window curtains closed, leaving only the bedside lamp casting the room in the yellowish glow not much different from the candle lights he used to light up on Arthur’s bedside, only steadier.

Arthur heard Merlin’s footsteps as he moved around the adjacent chambers, followed by the noise of the water running. Arthur looked at the walls, trying to picture the pipes and wiring Merlin had mentioned earlier. It was hard to picture all those things working without magic, but he supposed it made life easier.

Merlin’s breath smelled strangely of fresh mint when he got into bed, leaving only his shoes behind. Arthur was happy to welcome Merlin into his arms and watched him press his cheek into Arthur’s naked chest, close to his heart, planting his left hand on Arthur’s right pec almost reverently. Arthur felt warmth spreading inside him, starting from the places Merlin touched him.

Merlin nosed at Arthur’s skin and breathed in until there was no room for air anymore, then exhaled slowly. He cast a sheepish look up then, as if realizing what he was doing. “I missed your smell,” he said apologetically.

Arthur yearned to lean down and kiss him softly, relearn the shape of his lips with his own, but the fear of rejection kept him grounded. He settled for caressing Merlin’s smooth cheek with his thumb, right below his prominent cheekbone. He was beautiful as always. How could someone live for so long and not change on bit? “Go to sleep, Merlin. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” he whispered, his eyes pleading.

Arthur nodded once. “Promise.”

Merlin was asleep in no time, leaving Arthur to watch him carefully, taking in his relaxed features illuminated by the yellow light and basking at the comforting and familiar feeling of having Merlin in his arms once again. It felt like his heart was swelling impossibly, flooding with something so intense it bordered frightening. It took some time for Arthur to realize it was gratitude mixed with mourning. All the anger and hurt from before felt so insignificant in the face of everything that had happened.

He had lost everything. Everything that he was, everything and everyone he knew, except for Merlin, who had stopped aging the day Arthur died and survived centuries just to wait for him. The same Merlin who had once stood awake all night outside the Throne Room, waiting for Arthur to mourn, just so that he would not feel lonely. It was overwhelming, far beyond what Arthur could grasp in one night alone, yet he could not help but feel grateful to be alive if only to share this very moment with Merlin.

He had so many questions! Like the one that kept coming into his mind every now and again: why had Merlin shied away from his kiss yearlier?  Why had he been so reluctant to get into bed with him?  For more that it pained Arthur to admit it, it was most likely that Merlin had not stayed celibate for this long, but had he fallen in love? Had he given his heart to another? Did he still cherish the time they had as lovers? Or did he regret it?

At least he wasn’t moving away from his touch now. On the contrary, he seemed to be relaxed and safe in his arms. Arthur told himself it was pointless to muse on that for now. He forced himself to let it go in order to keep what was left of his sanity and indulged himself with the warmth of Merlin’s asleep form, trying to think of nothing at all.

Arthur frowned at the lamp beside the room. There was no button to push, like the one on the wall Merlin had insisted he tried. He had no idea how to turn it off, but he was reluctant to wake Merlin up. Out of curiosity, he stretched his free hand towards the bulb-shaped thing and touched it carefully with the tip of his finger, feeling the faint heat coming from it. The light turned off, leaving Arthur blinking in wonder.

He switched it on and off for a while until Merlin frowned, telling him to stop playing with the light and go to sleep already.

.Merlin.

Arthur didn’t get much sleep. His mind kept playing tricks on him, making him remember things and voices from the past, repeating some of the things Merlin had said and coming up with even more questions. He wondered if someday he would know all there was to know.

Merlin woke up a few times during the night a bit disoriented, but he went back to sleep after Arthur assured him everything was alright. Merlin often mumbled something unintelligible as he shifted, always making sure to touch Arthur in some way. His hand never left Arthur’s chest. At some point he moved frantically, not resting until he inspected the place below Arthur’s left rib cage, sighing at the unmarred skin there. Arthur watched him with a mixture of amusement and worry, thinking how long it would take for Merlin to feel confident that he was really back.

Arthur finally managed to sleep at some point. He woke up to an empty bed and the inviting smell of food and spices like he had never smelled before. He stopped briefly at the bath chamber before following the smell to another inside chamber, which Merlin explained to be his personal kitchen - he said everyone in that building had their own kitchen, which was another strange concept to grasp.

The food was amazing. The flavors exploded in Arthur’s palate and he was aware of how much Merlin was laughing at his expense every time he tried something new, but he couldn't care less.

After dinner, they sat on the sofa again. Outside, the rain started to pour.

“Now… Where were we?” Merlin asked, crossing his legs over the low table in the center of the room.

And just like that, Merlin picked up where he left, filling Arthur in on his secrets. As the hours flew by, Arthur found himself pacing the room again. He was furious to learn Merlin had used magic to help him defeat Annis’ champion, the giant Derían. Not to mention the Great Dragon, which Arthur hadn’t killed at all. Who could have guessed Dragons had their hearts on the right side of their chest? All those things... Arthur had been praised for conquering them. He had been proud of doing it by himself, with his own skills. Yet all this time it was Merlin who had won those battles for for him and allowed him to take the credit for the victories.

It was enough, for now. He had learned enough of the past. There would be time for this later, but now he had to focus on the present. Staying inside those doors was leaving him antsy and if it weren’t for the incessant rain outside, he would have insisted for Merlin to take him out.

When Arthur questioned him about his sword, Merlin told him it was safely guarded in the Lake of Avalon and assured him he would not need it just yet. Arthur wasn’t very convinced of it. Besides, he felt naked without his weapon. He knew now that Merlin was a powerful sorcerer and that he probably could defend the both of them better than Arthur ever could, but he was used to being the one protecting, never to being protected. He couldn’t help but staying on guard at every strange noise, even though it never proved to be a threat.

“I didn’t see any guards on this building or outside. How can you be so sure we’re safe here?” Arthur asked, trying not to sound too sour. “What if something happens while you’re sleeping?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll wake up?”

“ _ Mer _ lin-” Arthur huffed, but Merlin raised a hand to stop him.

“I guess there are some things you should know about the weapons used nowadays.”

Merlin didn’t exactly say it - in fact, he was very careful around the words - but in the end, what he actually meant was that Arthur’s sword was overcome by these new inventions, ones that worked like crossbows, only it didn’t use arrows but little metal things called bullets. Also, there was no need to reload at each shot. Apparently, they were deadlier too.

Arthur felt affronted by that. And useless, since it meant his skills had no value or applications anymore. Once again, he wondered why he was back. How could Albion need him now if they had no place for Kings nor swordsmen anymore?

“Alright, I know you said you didn’t want to hear about the past for now, but there’s no better way of explaining all this without a history lecture.” Merlin finished his tea and glanced thoughtfully at the corridor. “Actually, I might have something that could help us with the timeline.”

He walked to a door to the right of his bedchamber and came back with an armful of books. Arthur sighed, allowing his head to fall against the sofa cushions. He had always loathed lectures.

.oOo.

That night , they slept in each other’s arms again. Arthur would have gladly started some much missed physical contact to distract himself from his own thoughts if it weren’t for the fact that Merlin seemed exhausted once again after a whole day of talking and gesturing and pacing around the room.  Anyway, Arthur had too much going on his mind as it was. The things Merlin had told him kept repeating in his head as he tried to make sense of them. He had trouble sleeping at first, but at least he was not the only one. Merlin was restless too, shifting around the bed.

Whenever Arthur managed to doze off, he would wake up in a startle after hearing the warning bells in his dream, or thinking himself late to some important function, or saying something like “You cheated with the dice!” and “Admit it, Merlin, you can’t actually juggle, can you?”, or poking Merlin in the ribs and asking “You’ve never actually been to the tavern on your own, have you?”

Merlin sighed and grunted, admitting his guilt just so that Arthur would allow him to go back to sleep. Except when Arthur questioned him about the donkey ears. “As much as I’d like to take credit for that,” he said groggily, “it wasn’t me who did that to you. It was the goblin which had possessed Gaius. Although I might have made you bray for an entire week after that. But, hey, I could have left you with the ears!”

“ _ Mer _ lin!” Arthur exclaimed in outrage.

.Merlin.

The following morning was still very stormy and Arthur looked at Merlin with growing suspicion.

“Do you have anything to do with this, Merlin?” he asked, pointing towards the window.

“What?” Merlin looked genuinely puzzled.

“The rain! Is this your way of keeping me from going outside?”

“No?” Merlin said, affronted. “Why would I do that? You were never one to be scared of the weather before. I remember catching a cold one too many times because of that. We can go out if you’re really that desperate, but I was hoping you’d be interested in what I have to show you indoors.”

Arthur sent an evaluating look at Merlin’s seemingly innocent face, wondering if the dubious meaning was incidental, but it was soon washed out of his mind when Merlin showed him something truly curious he had fetched while Arthur was asleep. Merlin had a complicated name for it, but Arthur soon called it a ‘magic window’, even though Merlin had sworn it had nothing magical on it.

It turned out the day wasn’t as dull as he had anticipated, after all. The thing was astonishing, to be fair. It showed Arthur everything Merlin had told him about. All Merlin had to do was press a few buttons and the thing presented static or moving images like dreams, only clearer, as if Arthur was living it himself.

Maybe they got astray on their lesson that day, but it was totally worth it. Merlin showed him the most beautiful places around the world and outside of it. Arthur was fascinated with the stars and planets and the grandeur from which the Earth was just a small, nearly insignificant part of. It felt grounding and humbling. And it made Arthur look at Merlin with longing. Of all the people who could have survived to show him this new world, he was glad it was Merlin who was here, by his side.

“What?” Merlin asked when he realized Arthur had turned his eyes from the magic window to assess him in wonder.

Arthur opened his mouth, but the knock on the door prevented him to say any further.

“I’ll get this,” Merlin said frowning.

Arthur tried not to look like he was hovering as he paced close to the door when Merlin opened it. He made sure to keep the coat hanger within reach just in case he needed a weapon.

There was a middle aged woman standing at the corridor and, by the way she looked around the room, she did not seem to be looking for Merlin. They exchanged a few words, Merlin sounding apologetic as he explained something, gesturing a bit excessively. At some point, they both looked at Arthur, who could not understand a word about the exchange and simply arched an eyebrow in return. Morgana had teached him to be wary of innocent looking old ladies. Merlin turned back towards the woman in a dismissing tone and she smiled at him, handing him a package, which Merlin seemed reluctant to accept.

He did accept it in the end and waved her goodbye before closing the door at her back.

“Who was that?” Arthur asked, eyeing the package suspiciously.

Merlin sighed, taking it to the small kitchen as he answered. “Her name is Andrea, she owns a pub - which is like a tavern - down the road, the one facing the lake. She was looking for… well, for the older me,” he said as he opened the brown package and peeked inside before pulling the content out. “I often go to the pub some nights to perform some… magic, I guess.”

Arthur frowned, barely registering the smell of food. “You use magic in front of the patrons?”

Merlin was picking some plates and silver tools. “Yes, although they don’t know it’s actually  _ magic _ . They think it’s just some well made tricks, you know. Pork?”

“Excuse me?” Arthur asked, taken aback.

Merlin gestured for the food. “She brought us pork. Are you hungry?”

He was, and the smell was killing him, so Arthur sat down to eat. Merlin served him a portion of small pieces of meat and vegetables on his plate.

“Why did she ruin a good piece of meat like this? How am I supposed to bring it to my mouth?”

“Oh, right,” Merlin said, then picked up a couple of silver tools. “With these!”

Merlin sat down by the table too and demonstrated how it worked.

“Why do they have to make it harder than necessary?” Arthur huffed when a piece of meat flew from his plate to land near Merlin’s. “Eating used to be so simple. All we had to have was our hands and teeth!”

“You better learn to use your silverware if you want to go outside someday,” Merlin threatened after swallowing his mouthful. “I won’t have you embarrassing me in front of everyone by eating with your hands like an animal.”

Arthur huffed an indignant cry. As if Merlin could ever be the one embarrassed at his presence! There was no point in arguing about that, anyway. He really had much to learn and it would not make him any good insulting his teacher, so he watched how Merlin did it and tried his best to copy it.

“What did you tell the woman?” Arthur asked when he finally managed to cut his meat without making a mess.

“I told her my grandfather decided to take some well deserved vacations and asked me to watch his place for a while.”

“And she brought you food?” Arthur tried not to sound too suspicious. Or sullen.

Merlin nodded airily. “She’s a good person, always looking out for people. She took a liking on me because she had just lost her father when we met and she told me I reminded her of him. She asked me - us - to go have dinner at the pub tonight.”

“What did you tell her about me?”

“I told her you’re a friend of mine and you’ll be living with me. I said you’re from abroad, so you can’t speak  our language .”

“And she believed it?”

Merlin shrugged. “Why wouldn’t she?”

Arthur moved his food around the plate, keeping his eyes cast down as he searched for the words to ask his next question. “Is there… anybody else you’re acquainted with? Any close friends?” Any significant person, he wished to ask. He looked up to watch Merlin’s reaction.

Merlin seemed to be considering it. “I know some of the neighbors, but most of them don’t bother making small talk. Like I said, people don’t usually pay that much attention to an old man and I prefer not to call attention on me so that they don’t ask too many questions.”

Arthur sometimes had trouble keeping in mind Merlin used to walk around like an old man. Perhaps he really was that secluded. The possibility was both relieving and disturbing, at the same time.

“And how do you manage that?” Arthur asked instead of pursuing that line of thought. “Don’t they realize you’re always around?”

“I often fake my own death and pretend to be my own son claiming my heritage,” Merlin said dismissively. “Although it’s getting harder and harder to fool the banks and registry offices nowadays, what with all the new technologies.”

Arthur had no idea what half of that meant, but he did not bother to ask now. He had other things in mind.

“It must have been... lonely,” Arthur more stated than asked. For more that Merlin tried to make light of it, Arthur couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He wished to comfort his friend, but he had a hunch Merlin wouldn’t accept his pitty.

Merlin looked up at him, searching his eyes for a moment as if he could read his mind. Whatever he found out in his scrutiny, he seemed to shrug it off. “I’m used to it.”

Merlin changed the topic after that, talking about how he had managed to convince the owner of the building to sell him the place.

Arthur only half listened to him. It was a bit strange to get used to Merlin sitting there like his equal, since they had never shared a meal like this apart from the times they were out in the woods, sitting by the fire and Arthur insisted Merlin left his chores for later. Now that he thought about it, Merlin hadn’t called him “Sire” or “My Lord” in a while.

“How did you get money, in the first place?” Arthur asked at some point. He wasn’t a servant anymore, how did he earn a living?

Merlin looked a bit sheepish as he looked down again. “I didn’t care about money at first. I usually survived with the essential, sometimes offering to work for a meal or a place to sleep. There’s always some good souls out there, people like Andrea, who really care about other people outside from their circle of friends and family, but it has become harder and harder to find.”

It was with no small amount of shame that he confessed to have tricked some people and even stolen things, but he learned not to do it when he realized other people often had to pay for it in some way or other, innocent people. When he finally realized he would have to earn some money if he wanted to be respected, he also realized he had a gold mine hidden in a cave not far. He had managed to save some of the artefacts from Camelot, some old books, portraits and other objects seemingly worthless, and he offered some of them to people who would pay fortunes for such reliques. Since then, he started to collect books and paintings no one seemed to care about the moment they were presented to the public, but would often be treated like relics in the years to come.

“I mean, it’s not a given thing. I still have many works which were forgotten and no one ever cared about and others which took decades or even centuries to become valuable, but sometimes I make a living for a whole year with the profits of one good deal. And, of course, there’s always the magic shows, which often earn me at least a meal.”

Arthur scoffed. “You mean people pay to see you make a fool of them?”

“Yes, and they’re often quite generous too.” Merlin’s eyes crinkled with mirth, but then his expression became fond of a sudden. “That’s actually how I met Andrea. I was entertaining a few kids on a marketplace for a few coins when she was passing. The vendors often tipped me for distracting the kids while their parents shopped, so I was welcomed to stay there as long as it was good for their business. She stopped by and watched my show, then asked me if I would like to perform at her pub.” Merlin smiled sadly, probably in response for Arthur’s frowning. “I actually prefer performing to kids. They’re easier to please and less judgemental, but it was the most generous offer I had in a while and her pub was close to my place, so I said yes.” He averted his eyes.

Arthur was not sure about how he felt about that. He was sorry for what Merlin had been through, angry at all the people who had misjudged him and annoyed at Merlin for not putting all of them in their places by showing just what he could do to them if he so much as wished to. He also wanted to hold Merlin in his arms and tell him it would be alright, that everything would be fine now that he was back, but how could it be? He was no King anymore. He had no title nor possessions to offer any kind of protection to his most loyal subject and friend. And to think he had always had the best to offer to Merlin and never spared a thought to it! Instead, he had kept Merlin as his subaltern, like Guinevere had so wisely pointed out. What he wouldn’t give to go back in time and make things different.

Arthur pushed his plate away, his appetite lost.

“What is it?” Merlin asked noticing his distress.

“I wish I could have something to offer you to make your life easier, but it seems I don’t have the means to support even myself anymore,” Arthur could barely disguise his anger.

“Hey, you have nothing to worry about,” Merlin said quickly, reaching for Arthur’s hand on the table. “I still have a few of those books and I also happen to know a few people who would pay a small fortune for them. I was saving them for a special occasion, so we don’t have to worry about money for a while. Besides, I have everything I need. Especially now that you’re back.”

Arthur swallowed hard, touched by Merlin’s words and the naked honesty in his eyes. He had to gulp down his pride, refraining from rejecting Merlin’s charity. He knew Merlin was offering it out of selflessness and he wasn’t in a position to refuse his friend’s help now, but he vowed to change that as soon as possible. He squeezed Merlin’s hand back in gratitude before pulling away, changing the subject.

“So,” Arthur cleared his throat, assuming his teasing tone as he reached for his silverware again, “ _ you  _ working on a  _ tavern _ ? I can only imagine what that poor woman has been through since she hired you.”

“Prat.” Merlin tried to look cross, but failed.

.oOo.

“So, are you taking me there tonight or what?” Arthur asked once they were properly fed and sitting on the couch, surrounded by Merlin’s books and his magic window, each holding a steaming cup. “I don’t know about you, but I could use something stronger than tea tonight.”

For someone living alone for too long, Arthur would not be surprised if Merlin had taken comfort in drinking, even though now he knew for sure Merlin had not been that frequent to attend the tavern in the past.

Merlin sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “I guess I’ll have to find you some warm and properly fitting clothes, then.”

.oOo.

The walk to the tavern proved to be satisfying enough, despite the cold. The rain had stopped pouring by mid afternoon, and Arthur pointed out it was quite a coincidence, while eyeing Merlin assessively. Merlin had stayed impassive, as if not understanding the implied accusation or at least pretending not to.

As promised, Merlin had found him some warm clothes, although he would not say they were exactly fitting. The breeches were too tight on his thighs and it kept rubbing uncomfortably at his leg hairs. Merlin insisted they were fine, though, and that he would have to cope with them or give up on the trip entirely, so Arthur had grudgingly kept them. The coat was warm, the boots were the right size and the scarf Merlin had wrapped around his neck kept the bite of the cold from sneaking inside it, therefore he was happy to follow Merlin down the road and pretend not to notice how tightly Merlin’s breeches hung to his lean legs.

Once at the pub, Arthur found himself more irritated than ever. The food was good enough, but the ale wasn’t half as strong as he hoped for. He could not understand a word of what was said and he was starting to get antsy about the way people looked at them.

“Relax,” Merlin said when Arthur glared at the serving girl who took their empty plates. “You’re scaring people away with that scowl.”

“Why do they have to dress so strangely? Did you see that girl’s clothes?” Arthur glanced at the bare hairless legs of a young woman sitting beside them, flirting shamelessly with the man sitting at the table with her. He leaned in to whisper at Merlin. “Are you sure this isn’t a house of ill repute?”

It was Merlin’s turn to scowl. “Women are allowed to go out to have some drinks at this day and age, you know?”

“ _ Respectable _ women?” Arthur asked disbelieving.

Merlin’s stare becare cold all of a sudden. “Every woman is respectable, no matter what kind of clothes she wears or what she does for a living. You better keep it in mind.”

“I never said otherwise!” Arthur retorted, although he wasn’t so confident about what he  _ had  _ said. Besides, Merlin’s stare stung deep within him.

Merlin sighed, his tone softening. “Look. Things have changed since you were gone, alright? Just try to keep an open mind to what you see here. We’ll talk about it later.”

Arthur did his best to follow that advice, but he couldn’t stop staring at people whenever he saw something out of the ordinary. He tried not to glare at Andrea when she stopped at their table. In fact, he had dutifully stood up at her approach, remembering his manners - which was more than Merlin had cared to do -, and even kissed her hand when she offered it to him. He could not fathom why she stared at him so oddly after that while Merlin planted his face on his opened palms.

After saying something in an apologetic tone, Merlin gestured for her to sit with them and she accepted the invitation, seeming happy to chat to them. Well, to Merlin, mostly, since Arthur had no clue what they were talking about. He noticed she called Merlin a different name, Marlon or something like that, and remembered how Merlin was used to giving himself different names. Arthur observed their facial expressions, trying to guess the feeling behind the words. Andrea seemed friendly and Merlin kept smiling and nodding at her as he answered her questions. At some point, she looked at Arthur, although she was clearly still addressing Merlin. Merlin glanced at him before looking at her and saying something in a solemn tone. The next time Andrea looked at him, there was a touch of pity in her eyes. Arthur felt uncomfortable before it and looked away, trying to distract himself from their conversation.

“What was that?” Arthur asked when she finally left.

Merlin looked only a bit apologetic. “She asked me about you and I told her you’ve recently lost your wife, so you came to England to try and distract yourself from your loss. It’s easier to keep a lie when you stay as close to the truth as you can.”

Arthur had nothing to tell him after that, so he nodded. The mention of Gwinevere made him feel guilty he had not spared a thought to her since the first day, so he finished his drink to avert Merlin’s eyes.

“Oh, and I really have to teach you how to shake hands.”

Arthur frowned, puzzled. “What for?”

“Nevermind. I’ll explain to you later.” Merlin looked around. “She asked me if I happened to know some of my grandfather’s tricks,” he added after a brief pause.

“Oh?” Arthur looked at him again. “And what did you tell her?”

Merlin shrugged, looking down at his hands as he fidgeted with his empty cup. “I said I might know a few things. She asked me to show her, but…”

“But what?”

“I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”

Arthur waved dismissively. “I’m a grown man, Merlin. I know how to fend for myself.”

“You wouldn’t last a day without me.”

Arthur was about to deny when he blew the air from his cheeks in defeat. “Perhaps not, but I doubt it would take you that long.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go, already,” Arthur shooed him.

Merlin bit back a smile and nodded before getting up. “Don’t go anywhere. Call me if you need something.”

Arthur merely rolled his eyes and watched him walk towards the bar, where Andrea was serving drinks. He must have told her to keep Arthur’s glass full, for the young serving girl never allowed him to finish his glass before topping it again. After the third time, Arthur covered his cup with his hand when she made to fill it once more, but didn’t bother looking up. He was too busy keeping his eyes on Merlin.

Merlin had climbed up a few steps to a higher platform, from where he addressed the room with a coy smile. His voice echoed around the room unnaturally loud, but no one seemed to find it odd, so it must have been that ‘technological’ thing Merlin had mentioned. He started to perform a few tricks not much unlike the ones performed by the court jesters and caravans in the past, only more complicated.

At first, Arthur was dividing his attention between Merlin and the door to the pub. Despite Merlin’s assurance that magic wasn’t outlawed anymore, he couldn’t help worrying that someone would barge into the tavern and arrest Merlin for his bold performance. When nothing out of ordinary seemed to happen, Arthur’s attention was totally absorbed by the spectacle.

As the audience grew with each stunned reaction and round of applause, Arthur wondered how could they believe it not to involve real magic. More so when Merlin blew up in his cupped hands and revealed a beautiful blue butterfly inside them. Arthur noticed he often kept his eyes down or closed to hide their glow and felt a mixture of pride and bitterness when another round of applause followed.

When Merlin came back to their table, he had his cheeks red with excitement and a soft smile on his lips. He had barely sat down when the serving girl came with another round of drinks ‘on the house’.

Arthur was grumpy and his mood kept going sourer as people kept coming at their table to compliment Merlin and exchange a few words. Arthur realized many of the girls’ flirtatious manners.

“I want to learn their language,” Arthur stated when they were finally left alone again. “You’re going to teach me.”

“No problem,” Merlin said lightly. “We can get started tomorrow, if you’d like. It would probably make both our lives easier if you learned it anyway. You could watch some documentaries about the wars and I could save my voice for the shows.”

“Shows?” Arthur asked, annoyed. “I thought it was a one time thing!”

Merlin shrugged, nonchalant. “Andrea asked if I could come back tomorrow night. You’re welcome to come too,” he added, probably taking his dislike for bitterness.

“I’ll decide.”

“Yes, Sire,” Merlin scoffed. He downed his drink and put the empty cup back on the table. “How about we go home before it starts raining again?”

“I bet the rain will conveniently wait until we’re tucked inside your chambers,” Arthur said, but he stood up when Merlin did. “Come on, admit it, you can control the weather,  _ Mer _ lin.” He teased as Merlin helped him get into his coat.

Merlin’s lips tightened before he answered as he wrapped the scarf around Arthur’s neck. “I wouldn’t say  _ control _ it, exactly.”

“Ha!” Arthur said, victoriously. “I knew it.”

“You’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?” Merlin grabbed Arthur’s forearm as they left and Arthur pretended not to notice it. He might have even stumbled a bit on his way out of the pub just to watch Merlin pull him closer, allowing Arthur to lean some of his weight on him.

“Why, Merlin, you are the greatest sorcerer to ever exist, after all. What is a mere rain before the grandness of your power?”

“It’s nature. I try not to mess with it just for my benefit. It can cause unknown consequences. If it’s raining, that’s because it should be raining.”

“What if it were to  _ my  _ benefit, then?”

“Oh, shut it.”

“I’m your King, Merlin! You can’t talk to your regent in that tone.”

“Watch me.”

They bickered and bantered all the way back to Merlin’s building and up the stairs. Once they were safely hidden behind the closed door, Arthur pulled Merlin by the scarf and kissed him before he could change his mind. Merlin let out a surprised huff, but did not offer resistance.

Actually, Merlin did not react at all.

Arthur backed away just enough to look him in the eye. Merlin’s breath was shallow and his eyes were round with astonishment. Only Arthur wasn’t certain if it was good or bad astonishment.

And the doubt was killing him.

“Say something,” Arthur urged, shaking Merlin’s clothes.

As if awoken from a daze, Merlin moved forward, joining their lips again. Arthur felt relief wash through him and did not waste any moment, circling Merlin’s waist beneath the coat and bringing him closer. Merlin’s lips tasted of ale and salt and fresh air. He tasted of longing and things that would never be the same again, but perhaps they could be so much better! Until now, Arthur had been scared to hope, but now he did not have to hold back anymore. By the desperate way Merlin’s hands ran through Arthur’s face and down his back, he suspected that Merlin was starving for this as much as Arthur had been.

Arthur reached for Merlin’s scarf, pulling it off and nosing at Merlin’s neck. He cursed the new and unnatural smells that mixed with the familiar ones of Merlin’s skin for overcoming it almost completely. He missed Merlin’s smell so much! When he moved to take Merlin’s coat off, though, Merlin pulled him away, keeping him at arm’s reach.

“What?” Arthur asked, assessing his pained expression.

Merlin closed his eyes, taking in a shaky breath. “You had too much to drink.”

“I had not,” Arthur assured, kicking himself for pretending to be inebriated before. He took a step closer to Merlin and looked him in the eye, trying to make him see how steady he was. “Merlin, I want this. I want you. I want you so bad!” Arthur stopped when Merlin shook his head, trying to move away. He blanched at a sudden thought. “ _ You _ don’t want me anymore. Is that it?”

“I do!” Merlin sounded pained to admit, the words leaving him like a cry of pain. “With every fiber of my being, I do. It’s just…” he averted his eyes. “You’ll regret this in the morning.”

“I will not!” Arthur insisted, encouraged by Merlin’s admission. He would be damned if he allowed Merlin to push him away this time unless he really meant it. “Merlin, stop acting like you know everything going on my mind-”

“You’re mourning your wife!” Merlin said, raising his tone.

Arthur let go of him in an instant. Again, he had entirely forgotten about Guinevere, as he kept doing again and again. He ran a hand through his hair and groaned in frustration when Merlin turned away.

“I understand,” Merlin said, taking off his own coat before helping Arthur out of his own. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“I’m not mourning her,” Arthur said, trying to keep his tone controlled and reasonable so that Merlin had no way of questioning his words.

Merlin’s hands halted for a brief moment before he continued with his mechanical chores, tuning away to hang Arthur’s discarded clothes. “You don't mean that.”

“I know I should probably be,” Arthur continued, addressing Merlin’s tense back. “I know I should be sad for her and my friends and brothers in arms, and my people, but… They’ve been gone for so long. And they got to move on with their lives after I died. I should be allowed to move on as well.”

Arthur stepped closer to Merlin and turned him around softly. Merlin looked vulnerable and defenseless, as if he did not have the power to break Arthur in half with a simple look. “You’re everything I have left now. Please, don’t deny me some comfort.”

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, especially when Merlin flinched away from his touch.

“No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that,” Arthur panicked, reaching for Merlin again and watching him avoid his touch, looking away.

Damn, Arthur wished he could take his words back. Hadn’t he wished he had a second chance so that he could treat Merlin differently? He had his chance now; he shouldn’t be trying to manipulate Merlin again, just like the old times.

“This shouldn’t be about what  _ I _ need,” Arthur said running a hand through his hair and trying to overcome his own frustration. “This should be about what we both want. Unless...” He swallowed the lump in his throat, already dreading the possibility. “Unless you don’t feel the same way about me anymore.”

Merlin looked down, swallowing audibly. He seemed to struggle with what to say for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was wavering. “I’ve been with other people.”

Arthur blinked, taken aback by the unexpected words. He turned away and walked towards the window, crossing one arm over his chest and covering his mouth with the other to stop himself from cursing out loud. Of course Merlin had been with other people. What did he expect? Merlin had lived on for centuries, it was bound to happen at some point. Still, Arthur could not stop feeling angry at whomever had touched Merlin or been touched by him so intimately.

“Man or woman?” Arthur asked, before he could stop himself. He didn’t think it would make any difference, he just needed to know.

Merlin hesitated before answering. “Both,” he whispered.

Arthur closed his eyes, trying not to allow that selfish feeling to spread inside his chest. “Did you love them?” he asked, but then shook his head. How stupid could he still be? “Forget I asked that. You don’t have to answer to me, you never had to-”

“I loved… some of them,” Merlin cut him off, making Arthur turn around to face him again. “Each one differently, I guess,” he continued, his eyes shining with tears. “I’ve been in all kinds of relationships you can think of. Some of them were meaningless; some I came to regret; some names and faces I can’t even remember anymore. Others…” Merlin cleared his throat when his voice threatened to break. “I shared nearly a mortal’s lifetime with a handful of them, pretending to age just like them. But most of the time I fled before they could become too attached to me, knowing it was just a matter of time before everyone got hurt. It was easier like that. Not only for me, but for them as well.”

Arthur realised he was crying when the tears run down his cheeks and wiped them. Once again, he felt so many emotions at the same time he couldn’t pick them apart.

“I never had children, though,” Merlin continued, sniffling. “I figured they could either be immortal like me - and I never wished for anyone the same burden I have to carry - or they would age and die, in which case I would have to stand by and watch them waste away, so…” He took a shaky breath and offered him a bitter smile. “If you were expecting a number, I’m sorry, I guess I lost count or didn’t even care to keep track-”

“Merlin…” Arthur made his steps back to him, holding Merlin’s face up, forcing him to look him in the eye. “I don’t care how many people you’ve been with. All I care is… do you think you can bring yourself to love me again?”

Merlin closed his eyes and placed his hand on top of Arthur’s, keeping it close to his face. When he opened his eyes again, they were bloodshot from too much crying. “I haven’t stopped loving you a single day of my entire life.”

Arthur sobbed with relief and gratitude. His chest ached as he leaned forward to kiss Merlin again. Softly, this time. Merlin answered in kind, circling Arthur’s neck with his arms and carding his fingers through Arthur’s hair. The tip of Merlin’s tongue flickered on Arthur’s upper lip and it sent a shiver down his spine. Arthur brought their hips together as he pulled Merlin closer and suddenly they were frantic again, desperately rubbing at each other as they kissed and tugged on their clothes. It felt like Arthur would be torn apart if he didn’t have Merlin to himself soon. He wished he could merge their very souls together so that they could never part again.

Arthur huffed in surprise when Merlin jumped up, wrapping his legs around his waist. He had to take a step forward to regain his balance, but he managed to keep them from tumbling down.

“I need you  _ now _ ,” Merlin said in between kisses, sounding just as desperate as Arthur felt.

Arthur wasted no time taking Merlin toward the corridor. They stumbled into the bedchamber and toppled over the mattress. Arthur had some trouble with the tunic buttons - there were too many of them. He allowed Merlin to flip them off and get rid of their clothes, since he was more familiar with them. Once they were both naked, Arthur flipped them around again, settling between Merlin’s spread legs and rubbing them together.

“Do you have-” Arthur started, but then he heard a drawer being pulled and watched Merlin stretch out to reach for something.

He pulled the object open with his thumb and grabbed Arthur’s hand, squeezing it until it let out a cold moisture. “This will help.”

Whatever it was, it wasn’t oil. The texture was different when Arthur spread it on his palm. Arthur shook his questions away and rubbed it along Merlin’s ass, searching for his opening.

“Arthur,” Merlin called under his breath, his eyes dark with desire.

Arthur leaned in to kiss him again, claiming his mouth, vowing to claim every inch of him back and make Merlin forget whomever he had had in his bed in the past. He touched Merlin’s ass again, slipping one finger inside him with ease. Merlin let out an encouraging hum, pushing himself into Arthur’s hand. Arthur added a second finger, then a third one, amazed at Merlin’s rapid response.

“Now, Arthur,  _ please _ .”

Arthur pulled his fingers out and slicked his own cock with what was left of the moisture before plunging in, watching Merlin’s reaction. Merlin had his eyes half closed, his lips parted, but he never even flinched. He let out a wanton moan when Arthur’s hip met the back of his thigh and there was no room for him to push in anymore. It was the most beautiful sound Arthur had ever heard.

Merlin’s eyes snapped open again and he fixed them on Arthur’s with a fierce expression. “Move,” he commanded, and Arthur was only half tempted to defy him. In the end, the pull in his guts got the better of him and he started pushing in and out at a growing pace.

He tried to make it last, he really did, but it was stronger than him. He watched Merlin looking back at him and calling his name and he was too far gone, chasing his own climax in a frenzy. He only half registered Merlin spilling his own release over his chest after tugging at his own cock in time with Arthur’s thrusts. And then Arthur was pouring his seed endlessly, filling him up with it.

Arthur laid down beside Merlin to catch his breath and welcomed Merlin’s weight when he laid down half on top of him, kissing his neck and shoulder and whispering his name between sighs. He only noticed Merlin was crying when a sob shook his own body along with Merlin’s.

“I missed you so much, Arthur. I missed you so much.”

“Shh.” Arthur caressed his back and nape soothingly. “I’m here.”

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

.oOo.


	2. Two

Arthur woke up with Merlin shifting in his sleep, pulling the covers up. He shifted too, searching for Merlin’s body heat, but had to get up to use the toilet after too much drinking. He took the time to clean his teeth with Merlin’s minty toothpaste, the way Merlin had insisted him to. Merlin didn’t wake up when Arthur came back to bed, only mumbled something in his sleep as Arthur tucked his slightly colder feet under the cover next to his.

He didn’t go to sleep right away. His thoughts kept coming back to their conversation last night, over-analyzing it again and again. Arthur felt so small, so powerless before the unfairness of all that Merlin had gone through. What could he possibly have done to deserve so much suffering? He was the most loyal and caring person Arthur had ever known! He had sacrificed so much for Arthur and for Camelot, and yet he had been the one to endure all those centuries of loneliness.

For more that Arthur blamed those cruel gods for playing Merlin around, deep down he felt responsible for all that had happened. If someone deserved to be punished, it should have been Arthur, not Merlin. Never Merlin. If only Arthur hadn’t been so unreasonably fearful of magic; if only he hadn’t been so selfishly blind to Merlin’s and even Morgana’s suffering; if only he hadn’t been so disdainful of others beliefs… Perhaps he could have even prevented his half-sister to turn against him.

He must have dosed off at some point, for when he woke up again, he had his nose buried into Merlin’s nape, inhaling the awfully sweet smell of Merlin’s lotion. He was pressed into Merlin’s naked back from shoulder to hip, with their legs tangled together and his arm circling Merlin’s waist, just like they used to sleep before. Arthur let out a satisfied sigh at the familiarity of the position.

Arthur snuggled closer, kissing Merlin’s shoulder and caressing his chest with his thumb. He could tell Merlin was starting to wake up as his breathing pattern changed. Arthur run his hand up Merlin’s arm, then slid the pad of his finger down his shoulder and back, then up across his stomach. Merlin must have cleaned up during the night, since there were no vestiges of their activities on his skin. Merlin sighed and moved his arm up to give Arthur’s hand free access to explore his chest. Arthur thumbed at his right nipple, feeling it harden, now trailing kisses down Merlin’s spine, between his shoulder blades and back up.

Arthur tried not to think about how many people had touched Merlin the way he was doing now, but it was hard not to. He knew he would have to get used to the notion that Merlin had a history now, yet he couldn't help wishing to overcome all of them, make Merlin forget each and every one of them.

Arthur’s hand slid down Merlin’s stomach again, playing with his hair until it brushed hard flesh. Arthur gripped Merlin’s stiff cock and tugged it lazily, finally allowing his hips to move, rubbing his own erection at Merlin’s ass.

Without bothering to open his eyes, Merlin reached into his bedside drawer and silently offered the tube of not-oil to Arthur. Arthur kissed Merlin’s jaw and temple as he worked him open unhurriedly. Different from the night before, there was no rush now. They had all the time the the world, after all.

Arthur bit and scratched his teeth over Merlin’s skin, watching his breathing become ragged and shallow. When he finally replaced his fingers with his cock, Merlin reached behind him and sunk his fingers on Arthur’s flesh to keep him unmoving for a while. Arthur’s cock throbbed into the heat and tightness surrounding it and he sighed into Merlin’s neck.

It was definitely good to be alive.

When Merlin’s grip on Arthur’s behind slacked, Arthur started to move his hips, slow and steady, almost torturing. Merlin did not seem to mind. He threw his head back, offering more of his neck and jaw for Arthur to kiss and nip.

As the urge grew deep within Arthur’s gut, he increased the pace of his thrusts until it became too much to hold on. He pushed Merlin flat on his stomach and pressed him down as he pumped into him harder and harder, breathing over Merlin’s neck and hearing his gasps together with the sound of their fleshes meeting.

Arthur grunted when he climaxed, coming to a halt for a brief moment before moving again until it became too much. He pulled out and flipped Merlin around, watching his face closely as he fisted on Merlin’s cock. Merlin’s face contorted with pleasure when he spilled, his muscles jerking in short spasms.

Arthur watched Merlin’s eyes close as he relaxed into the mattress with a soft smile on his lips, his hair stuck to his temples. Arthur’s eyes wandered down his torso and he backed off to assess Merlin as a whole.

“You haven’t changed one bit,” Arthur marveled, stroking his fair skin reverently.

“You told me not to.”

Arthur looked up to meet Merlin’s half-closed eyes.

“How is this even possible?” Arthur asked, frowning. “How can a person live that long and don’t age a day?” He squinted his eyes at Merlin’s body, searching for scars. “In fact, I’m wondering how you managed to survive this long by yourself. I remember you getting into trouble quite a lot. I know for a fact you’re not immune to poison or flesh wounds.” Arthur touched Merlin’s shoulder, where Merlin had been struck by a mace once. He remembered how bad the thorns had pierced Merlin’s skin.

Merlin swallowed and looked away. “I can get hurt, but I can’t die.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been mortally wound a few times before. I should have died a dozen of times, at least.”

Arthur’s insides froze with a sudden thought. “Have I cursed you into this?”

Merlin’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“When I told you not to change-”

“No! No, I’ve been like this before that,” Merlin placated him. “Remember the Dorocha?”

Arthur’s eyebrows shot up at the realization. “Gaius said no one ever survived it’s touch. But you did!”

“Yes, well, I’ve offered my live in exchange of yours for the Cailleach, but she took Lancelot’s instead. And I’ve been poisoned by Morgana too. And by a serket -  a giant scorpion - before that. I’ve also seen the gates of Avalon, which no mortal could see. And my father…” Merlin looked away again. “My father said I’ll exist forever, like magic. That I am magic itself.”

Arthur could nearly feel the sadness in his tone and the weight on his shoulder. He felt a little frightened by that revelation, himself. And unsettled, if he were honest with himself. He had been taught to hate and fear every work of magic, believing it was purely evil, but how could it be? Merlin was the most kind and loving person he ever knew and he was said to be _made_ of magic!

“Is there anything you can’t do now, Merlin?” He wondered out loud.

Merlin looked pained as he met Arthur’s eyes once more. “I can’t bring back the dead.”

“Except that?”

Merlin shrugged, averting his eyes. “I don’t know.”

Arthur could bet there was no limit to Merlin’s power now, except that. He wondered if Merlin would be able to cure him for the same wound which had killed him before without the aid of the Shide. He hoped they would never need to find that out.

In fact, Arthur was trying really hard not to acknowledge his own mortality and the fact that he would probably age and die and Merlin would wander the Earth by himself once again. He had promised Merlin he would never leave him again, when in truth he knew it wasn’t a promise he could keep. Unless…

Unless Merlin could keep him alive as well from sheer will. The thought made a shiver run down Arthur’s spine. He was not sure if he liked the possibility.

‘ _I use it for you, Arthur. Only for your._ ’ Arthur remembered Merlin’s words.

For a moment, it felt like he could see deep into Merlin’s soul. He saw all the power in there, dormant, waiting for him to find his purpose again. He pictured all the times Merlin had seen the world nearly crumble into pieces, people killing each other, the wrath of nature in its most destroying side, and done nothing about it, waiting for Arthur to show up and bring meaning back to his life.

He leaned down to place a soft kiss on Merlin’s lips. Merlin pressed his lips back after a moment’s hesitation. Arthur pulled away to assess him again, finding his eyes curious.

‘ _I love you_ ,’ Arthur thought. He felt it in his bones. Yet, he knew Merlin would not believe it still. He would blame it on Arthur’s vulnerability and loneliness.

It did not matter. Arthur would show him. He would convince Merlin with something more tangible than words.

“I’m glad you survived,” he said instead. ‘ _I’m glad you waited for me. I’m glad you did not lose your faith, even if it wavered at times.’_

.oOo.

They spent most of that day in bed. Arthur would be lying if he said he was not enjoying the lack of obligations and the free time to laze around with Merlin with nothing to worry about, although sometimes he felt bothered by the absence of purpose to his existence. He wasn’t used to being a commoner. He had been raised to carry the weight of a Kingdom. How many times had he dreamed of being a farmer or a peasant, with nothing to worry beyond his landmarks, and now he found that the long idealized freedom was paralyzing.

He focused on studying the modern language and learning about the historical facts during the day, and accompanying Merlin to the tavern at night or going for a walk during the day when the weather was good.

The new language was more complicated than he anticipated. They had words for everything now, as well as figures of speech and what Merlin called “slang”. Not to mention the cursing. People seemed to be really creative when it came to cursing nowadays and Arthur soon realized Merlin cursed a lot. Arthur wondered if he wasn’t making up half of the words. It wouldn’t be the first time.

There was a lot of social rules to be followed as well and Arthur often found himself reconsidering some of his actions from the past. Most of his behavior towards his former servant, for instance, would have been considered inadequate and abusive even. Arthur could have been seriously punished by law if he dared to treat a subordinate like that now. Thinking back on their old life in Camelot, it almost felt like Merlin had never belonged to that time. He had a way of thinking which was ages ahead of most and he had tried to make Arthur see the world as he saw it and think reasonably, but Arthur had been too blind to see past their society’s way of thinking, in some matters.

He was determined to take Merlin’s words seriously now, even though he struggled to remember every detail of what he taught him.

Sometimes, Merlin would reprimand Arthur for something he said or did, claiming it was rude, although Arthur could not fathom why. “Don’t stare,” Merlin reprimanded between gritted teeth when Arthur stared at a man with strange drawings in his shaved skull instead of hair. “Don’t point with that finger,” Merlin whispered when Arthur was trying to show which muffing he would like to buy while holding two cups of tea. “I’ll explain later. Just… don’t, alright?”

And of course, there was always the fact that people did not seem to have bounderings when it came to public demonstrations of affection - or something like that, Arthur couldn’t recall the exact term Merlin used to describe it. The first time Arthur had witnessed a couple kissing in plain sight, he had nearly run into a door.

“For God’s sake, Arthur, _stop staring_! It’s rude!”

“Why, Merlin, I happen to have eyes and this couple happen to be kissing right in front of them!” Arthur snapped back. “If they wanted people not to stare, they should keep it inside closed doors!”

Arthur did not mention it to Merlin right after that incident, but he started to pay more attention to couples. He also caught some scenes on the magic window at the pub - Merlin called that a ‘television’ - and suddenly it was clear things had changed more than he had realized in that matter. At first, it looked gross, but Arthur soon became obsessed with it.

“I want you to kiss me like that couple outside the pub, the other night,” Arthur told Merlin when they were cuddling on the couch, watching some ‘educational videos’ on Merlin’s personal magic window. Arthur suspected them to be intended for children, but he knew better than to ask.

“Hm?” Merlin asked, nuzzling lazily at Arthur’s neck and completely ruining his concentration. “And how is that?”

“I don’t know. They seemed to be using their tongue. A lot.”

Merlin backed away to fix him an evaluating stare. “You want to french kiss?”

Arthur shrugged despite the unknown term. “It seems to be a thing now.”

“You could say so.” Merlin looked a little wary still, as if he could not tell if Arthur was being serious.

“So? Are you going to ‘french kiss’ me or what?”

Merlin licked his own lips before grabbing Arthur’s chin and bringing their faces closer. He stopped just before their lips met. “Try to follow my lead, alright?”

Arthur nodded and closed his eyes, as it seemed to be required. A first, Merlin simply brought their lips together, like they always did. Then he touched the tip of his tongue to Arthur’s bottom lip and Arthur had a vague memory of him doing it before. This time, Arthur mimicked him, licking Merlin’s upper lip. He gasped when Merlin sucked Arthur’s lip harder while still licking it.

“Good?” Merlin whispered as he released it.

Arthur merely hummed. Maybe a bit eagerly. When Merlin kissed him again, his mouth was slightly parted, and his tongue caressed Arthur’s lips softly before gently pushing inside his mouth. Arthur answered with his own tongue, tentatively at first, then firmly. It was strange, and filthy, but thrilling at the same time. He gasped again when Merlin sucked Arthur’s tongue and pulled back.

“Too fast?” Merlin asked, his cheeks flushed, his eyes wide.

“Not at all,” Arthur assured and leaned in to kiss him again.

It wasn’t before long when they were panting into each other’s mouth. There was a lot more saliva than Arthur was comfortable with, but he could not help wanting more of it. It reminded Arthur of the way Merlin sucked his cock and it went straight to his groin. When Merlin turned his head slightly to the side, fitting their mouths together, Arthur lost his capacity to think properly and it turned into a fight of sorts, one Arthur was not particularly keen on winning.

“You’re very good at this,” Arthur said when they parted to catch their breaths, half amazed and half annoyed at the realization. He must have had a lot of practice and it was so unfair that Arthur had to compete with that!

Merlin smirked. “You’re not bad yourself.” He pushed Arthur until he was lying on the couch and straddled him, picking up where they had left.

Those words calmed some of Arthur's insecurities, but he was far from confident yet.

Intimacy with Merlin was better than Arthur remembered. Merlin seemed different in bed, more straightforward and demanding and confident. At times, it bothered Arthur to the point of madness and he wanted nothing short of erasing all the memories Merlin might have of his previous lovers or at least to surpass them in order that Merlin would never consider to be with someone other than him ever again. On the other hand, Arthur had to admit that it was quite relieving to give the control away like this. Merlin knew just what to do to please Arthur and the way he seemed to enjoy it only added to Arthur's satisfaction.

Merlin also cursed a lot during those activities and Arthur was marveled at that. Merlin had been slowly letting go of his restraint on his magic as well, allowing it to take action for him. Like the way he was making Arthur's clothes strip themselves off right now. Buttons were released from their holes and slide fasteners were opened before the fabric slid down their limbs as if pulled by unseeing hands. Arthur often found his cock suddenly slicked with lubricant as well as Merlin's insides, but he wasn't one to complain about that, let alone when Merlin impaled himself on Arthur's shaft the way he was doing now, while still kissing him in that filthy and hot slide of tongues.

Sometimes Merlin would clean them up with magic afterwards. Other times, they would clean themselves in the shower or laze around in the bathtub until they were wrinkled and sleepy. It was no wonder people bathed more regularly now, even if they didn't have Merlin to keep the water continually warm.

“Why did you never do this to my bath at Camelot again?” Arthur asked, lying in the water with his head resting on Merlin's chest.

“Because you were a bigot and a clotpole.” Merlin said. “Actually, you're still a clotpole.”

Arthur scoffed. “That word didn't exist on my time, I doubt it makes any sense now.”

“Of course it makes sense. Especially now that you’re back, since it was invented for you- Ouch!” Merlin squirmed when Arhut pinched him in the ribs, but Arthur could tell that he was secretly pleased.

.Merlin.

As relaxing as those moments were, Merlin did not allow him much time to rest indoors anymore. He bought Arthur what he called ‘running shoes’ and insisted they should run around the nearby park to exercise.

“Why would we run around like dogs chasing their own tails?” Arthur asked as he tried the new shoes.

“Because that's how people exercise now,” Merlin explained as he put on his own shoes.

“I still can't see the point of it. It's not like we need to be prepared to run from a bear or a raging boar here in the city.”

“Sure, but we still don't know what the both of us should prepare for, do we?”

“No, but I still have too much to learn and I really doubt you'll be able to talk while running. Actually, I have my doubts you'll manage the first run around the park.”

“Yes, well, I’m not thrilled at the prospect of exercising and putting up with your nagging at the same time, but at the rate you're eating, you won't fit into the clothes I bought you in a few weeks-”

“Hey!”

“-and then you’re going to get all sensitive about gaining weight and blame me for feeding you too much or making you study all day, so you might as well stop complaining and follow me before I change my mind.”

Arthur was too stunned after that to even begin to object.

He begrudgingly followed Merlin around the park in a slow pace which reminded him of a horse trotting. Surprisingly, Merlin did not collapse to the floor heaving after the first half hour - Arthur had learned about how they measured time now. Quite the contrary, he seemed to be in very good shape.

In fact, Merlin was full of surprises. He found a punching bag somewhere and set in on the living room for Arthur to practice, giving him some padded gloves, for protection. He also found a crossbow, together with a target, which he hung on the wall.

One day, Merlin left Arthur to his studies claiming to go to the market, then came back with two sets of armor and two training swords.

“I thought you said no one used swords anymore,” Arthur said, examining the pieces. The armors were different from the ones Arthur used in Camelot. And much lighter too. Arthur squinted at it. “Is it the real deal, or just decorative?” He knocked on it, but the sound was metallic.

“It’s made of steel. Like metal, but stronger and lighter at the same time,” Merlin said, looking pleased with himself. “And I said no one _fights_ with swords anymore, but some people still learn it. For entertaining purposes, mostly.”

Arthur still looked dubious. “Are you sure it’s not that plastic thing you told me about?”

Merlin had said most thighs were made of plastic and painted to look like other materials, nowadays.

“I’m quite sure, yes,” Merlin assured, crossing his arms. “So. What do you think?”

Arthur pursed his lips, considering. “It’s not bad,” he admitted. “But who’s the other set for?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Me, of course.”

“Of course,” Arthur mocked. He sighed grabbing his sword. “Alright, let’s see if I remember how awful you are with a sword.”

They decided to go practice at the park, so they put on just the essential pieces of armor to keep the bruises at a minimum. People gave them curious looks as they walked there, but Arthur stood proud and dignified.

Merlin didn't seem bothered by the looks either, chatting blithely as they walked. Arthur wondered if he would be so happy and carefree after the first few minutes.

When Arthur told him to get ready, Merlin stood in guard with his feet apart for balance.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at him for the show. “Ready?” He asked.

Merlin nodded. “I’ve been preparing for this for a long, long time.”

Arthur snorted a laugh. “To get your arse kicked?”

Merlin shrugged, rolling his shoulders. He had a determined set to his stance, but Arthur could bet it was just for show. “We’ll see.”

Arthur did not have the mind to humiliate Merlin just yet, since there were people walking their dogs and hiking nearby, so he kept it light as they warmed up. As Arthur attacked, Merlin blocked every one of his moves, taking a few steps back to compensate for Arthur's advance.

“Huh,” Arthur exclaimed, slightly amused. “Not bad.”

He started to strike with more intent then, but Merlin was quick to accompany his pace, still at a defensive stance.

“Why, Merlin, have you been practicing?” Arthur asked in wonder when Merlin blocked one of his strides and elbowed him away, keeping the sword at shoulders high, ready for his next move.

Some people had stopped to watch by then, with the excuse of doing some exercises or catching their breaths. Arthur didn't pay them any mind.

“Not in the last few decades or so,” Merlin shrugged. “But I’ve taken some lessons since you were gone.”

Arthur couldn't help the resentment at leaning that someone else had taught Merlin to fight. It should have been him! How could he have turned a blind eye to Merlin’s potential the way he did?

There was no turning back, anyway. Arthur couldn’t change the fact that Merlin had relied on other people for this. All he could do was make sure that Merlin had learned it right. He got into position again. “Alright, let’s do this for real, then.”

Merlin nodded and Arthur attacked once more.

This time, Arthur did not hold back. He managed to advance his ground until some point, elbowing Merlin in the ribs once and nearly punching him in the back with the hilt of his sword, but Merlin avoided the blow in a swift move and took him by surprise when he attacked Arthur with a series of strikes, making him retreat some paces to block them until Arthur had to jump back to avoid being hit by the flat of Merlin's sword.

“So,” Merlin said when they moved apart, wiping the sweat from his upper lip. “When are you going to stop holding back, Sire?”

Arthur's eyes narrowed at that. Alright, he was impressed, but he would be damned if he admitted it to Merlin's face. It was time to step up the game.

As they continued fighting, their audience grew. People had stopped pretending to be distracted and began to cheer at them.  Arthur could make out some encouraging words here and there.

It took more effort than Arthur had first anticipated, but he actually managed to defeat Merlin by making him stumble back and fall down on his bottom with Arthur's sword pointed at his chest.

The crowd cheered and clapped as Arthur helped him get up. They were both panting hard. Arthur was completely gobsmacked, although he was careful not to let it show, less it would go to Merlin's head.

“You should watch your feet more,” Arthur said instead of praising him for his considerable improvement.

Merlin gazed at him disbelieving. “Is that all you have to say?”

Arthur shrugged. “Well, you couldn't have gotten any worse, could you? Besides, you had a few centuries to practice, the least you could have-”

Arthur was prevented from finishing his sentence when the ground was suddenly pulled out of his feet. He fell ungracefully on the lawn.

“What the hell?” He asked, looking around, searching for who might have swept his leg while he wasn't looking, but there was no one within reach, only Merlin, and Arthur had definitely not seen him-

Arthur froze, realising Merlin seemed too pleased with himself. Arthur had not seen his eyes flash gold, but Merlin might have concealed it when he coughed. Arthur had a sudden memory of Merlin coughing before throwing the dice at the tavern.

“Who should watch their feet now?” Merlin said cockily, confirming Arthur's suspicion.

“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur huffed in outrage. “This is cheating! Besides, anyone could have seen it!” He nodded towards their audience. Some of them had moved away, going back to their running and dog walking, but others were still lingering around, eyeing them expectantly.

“They only saw you losing your balance and falling over your ass like the clumsy fool you are,” Merlin sassed.

“I’ll show you the clumsy fool,” Arthur threatened as he picked up his sword, but then Merlin looked down as he coughed again and Arthur's hand twitched involuntarily, making him drop the sword on the ground.

“You were saying?” Merlin blinked innocently.

“ _MER_ lin!” Arthur shoulted, but refrained from lunging at him, knowing Merlin could make him embarrass himself further. He picked up his sword again and took a deep breath. “Alright, no sneaky coughing again. Let’s do this like equals.”

“Oh, _now_ I’m your equal,” Merlin said, sarcastic, but he stood in position nonetheless.

It felt good to have a sword in his hand again, even if it were not _his_ sword. Merlin said they had given his sword a name in the legends people told about them. Excalibur, they called it. It was the only thing Arthur actually liked about those stories.

“When will I get my sword back?” Arthur asked when they were leaving the park.

Despite the sweat and the soreness, Arthur had a persistent smile plastered to his face. He remembered some of Guinevere’s words and was having some ideas, but he was reluctant to share them with Merlin just yet.

“Soon,” Merlin said, answering Arthur’s smile with one of his own.

Arthur threw an arm around Merlin’s shoulders and kept him close as they walked back to Merlin’s place.

.Merlin.

They soon got themselves some admirers, or ‘fans’, as Merlin called them. There was a group of girls who always lingered around the park to watch them practice. They cheered and whistled and offered them flirting smiles. Merlin always treated them friendly, but they must have felt somehow encouraged by it, for they started to make small talk with them - mostly with Merlin, since Arthur couldn’t keep a conversation that easily just yet, although he was starting to pick a word here and there and guess the actual meaning of what they were saying.

“He’s learning the language,” Merlin explained to them in English, and Arthur nodded in agreement. “He’s not very bright, though.”

“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur cuffed him in the head. Then addressed the girls, also in English. “Excuse him, ladies, he’s an idiot.”

They giggled and praised him for his pronunciation while Merlin claimed to have been merely testing him.

“The brunette seems to have taken an interest in you,” Merlin commented later, after they bid their goodbyes. He had his brow furrowed, but it might have been because of Arthur’s recent attack.

Arthur shrugged. “So what? Half the female pub regulars has taken an interest in _you_ ,” he said before lunging again, trying not to sound so bitter about it. He had seen how people looked at Merlin when he was performing and it made him want to snarl at them. Especially the new bartender Andrea had recently hired, which Arthur secretly dreamed of gutting. He suspected Merlin wouldn’t be so thrilled if he acted on it, so he settled for stating his claim on Merlin after they were back behind closed doors.

To his credit, Merlin had not encouraged any of them beyond being polite and escaping back to Arthur’s table as soon as he could, but Arthur couldn’t help but resent their excessive attentions.

Merlin stopped his blows, then took a couple of steps back to squint at him. “Are you jealous?”

“Me?” Arthur snorted. “I’m not the one who started this conversation.” Arthur lowered his sword, assessing him. “Why, Merlin, are _you_ jealous?”

Merlin did not open his mouth to agree nor deny, so Arthur chose not to push it, but Merlin wasn’t that good in disguising his feelings as he believed himself to be.

The brunette, Janete, showed up at the pub a couple of weeks later. Arthur had no idea how she had learned that Merlin performed there on weekends - yes, he had learned the weekdays now - but the fact still remained that she had. She asked if she could join Arthur at his table while Merlin was on stage.

Arthur had no polite way to decline, so he welcomed her and tried to make some conversation above the loud noise. She seemed to be nice, although Arthur would really prefer to watch Merlin instead of trying to communicate with her. Also, someone had to keep an eye on the new bartender, who had just spilled a drink, too distracted by Merlin’s show to actually do his job.

“Marlon’s a really good magician, isn’t him?” Janete commented in wonder after Merlin got another round of cheering from the crowd.

“Yes,” Arthur agreed readily. She could never guess just how good he actually was.

“Oh! _Oh!_ ” She said, as if realizing something. “That’s why you always call him Merlin, isn’t it?”

“Well-” Arthur started, but then just shrugged, taking a sip of his drink.

“Was it a college nickname?”

Arthur blinked in puzzlement. “A… what?”

“Marlon said you guys went to college together. Did he perform those tricks back then?”

Arthur snorted. “All the time.”

Janete smiled fondly. “No wonder you two get along so well. Arthur and Merlin!”

Arthur had to agree.

Arthur barely registered when Janete excused herself and left, too busy following Merlin’s exchange with the bartender after he stepped down from the stage, receiving the applause from the audience. Sometimes Arthur suspected the bastard wasn’t even trying to disguise his flirting, even though Merlin seemed oblivious to it.

Andrea approached Arthur with a knowing smile, blocking Arthur’s vision of the bar. “She’s a very pretty lady, your friend.”

“Janete?” Arthur asked distractedly. “She’s nice,” he said, remembering how Merlin told him people usually used this word when they didn’t have particularly strong feelings about something or someone.

Andrea didn’t seem to take him seriously.

“It’s good to see you opening up like this, mingling. You know, talking to new people, laughing, having a good time,” she explained after Arthur’s puzzlement at hearing the unfamiliar word.

She was a very kind lady, if a bit prying, and she had the annoying tendency to spoil Merlin, since he was the reason her business was doing so well lately, but Arthur had learned to like her regardless.

“What did I lose?” Merlin asked as he joined them, with his drink. He looked pleased and embarrassed at the same time, like he always looked after performing magic in front of oblivious people like this.

“We were talking about Janete,” Andrea offered, winking at Merlin.

“Oh, right, where is she?” Merlin asked, looking around.

“She left too early,” Andrea said, sending a reproaching look towards Arthur. “I was just telling Arthur how good it is to see that he has been making some friends. She seems to be a lovely girl. And, of course, she’s very easy on the eyes.”

Arthur was used to people addressing Merlin while talking about him, expecting him to translate it to Arthur afterwards, but for some reason it annoyed him now.

“I am not interested in her,” he said, making them look at him startled, as if just realizing he was there.

“It’s... probably too soon,” Merlin addressed the pub owner, smiling apologetically.

“It’s not that!” Arthur snapped. He tried to find the words in english, but he was too irritated to think straight, so he addressed Merlin in his old, native language. “Tell her I’m not getting married again.”

“She’s not talking about marriage,” Merlin whispered back, even though Arthur doubted anyone could understand them. “I told you this already, people don’t always get married. They get to know people and go out with them-”

“I’m not interested in any of that,” Arthur insisted. “I’m not looking for female company, no matter how uncommitted.”

Merlin looked pained. “Arthur, I know you miss Gwen-”

“This is _not_ about Guinevere, Merlin! It’s about-”

“I’m sorry, my dear,” Andrea interrupted him, after watching their argument. She looked sympathetic. “It’s not my intention to make light of your ordeal. Losing a loved one is never easy. It’s only you’re so young and handsome, you’re bound to call this kind of attention on yourself. I did not have the pleasure to know your late wife and I can only imagine what a wonderful woman she was, but as a wife myself, I think she would be happy to see you moving on.”

She excused herself after that, saying something about keeping the patrons waiting, and Arthur realized Merlin had cast his eyes down, all the post-performance mirth gone from his face.

Arthur sighed. He finished his drink and stood up. “Let’s get going. I don’t know about you, but I’m knackered.”

“Sure,” Merlin said, but he avoided Arthur’s eyes as they stood up.

Arthur looked over his shoulder and caught the bartender watching them attentively. Arthur made a point of placing his hand on Merlin’s lower back to guide him towards the exit in a gesture significant enough for the boy to understand and innocent enough for everybody else to overlook.

Arthur sighed with satisfaction once they were outside. “I think I never mentioned it you you,” he said as they walked side by side, “but my marriage ended long before I died, Merlin.”

Merlin’s head snapped up to him. “What do you mean?”

“After that trip to the Cauldron of Arianrhod, Guinevere and I were never husband and wife again.”

Merlin frowned at him, his eyes searching. “But you still slept with her.”

Arthur shrugged. “We merely shared a bed, mostly to keep the gossip to a minimum. I never touched her again, not like that.”

“Arthur…” Merlin stopped, making him stop as well. He looked contrite. “She never betrayed you. She was under Morgana’s influence-”

“I know-”

“Not just that time! When you caught her with Lancelot? That wasn’t even Lancelot to begin with! It was a shade, an empty shell Morgana brought back with the sole purpose to seduce her-”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

Merlin explained about necromancy and just how Morgana had planned for Arthur’s heartbreak.

“You see?” Merlin asked frantically. “She always loved you most, she had chosen you over him, but she was manipulated by Morgana! She-”

Arthur was shaking his head by the end of that speech. He grabbed Merlin’s arms to stop his babbling. “It doesn’t change how I feel for _you_ , Merlin!”

Those words served to their purpose as they stunned Merlin into silence. When he spoke again, his voice was small, nearly a whisper. “What?”

Arthur sighed, releasing him and running his hands through his hair. This was not how he had planned to say this, but he could not let Merlin walk away from that conversation unknowing. “I loved Guinevere, Merlin, I really did. But it was never a consuming passion like it is with _you_! She was a lovely woman, but we were never able to make each other happy as husband and wife. She was more like a very dear friend to me, only I never realized it. Because I was stupid and blind, back then. I could not understand my own feelings when the person I cared the most was standing right in front of me! I never deemed it possible for a man to love another man, so I never acknowledged it for what it was. I kept choosing her over you, but I should never have.”

“She was meant to be Queen,” Merlin argued, frowning in puzzlement.

Arthur shook his head. “It might have been right for this destiny of yours, but I made the choice, and I chose wrong! I should have chosen you all along! Besides, we could still have made it work, the three of us. She would have understood, as she did understand in the end.”

“You were devastated when you banished her!” Merlin pressed stubbornly, seeming incapable of moving past that point in Arthur’s reasoning.

“ _Because_ it was unfair to her, Merlin! I should never have banished her! She was my friend above all! Still, she could never have completed me because you're my other half, Merlin. Ever since I met you, Merlin, you were the one for me. No one else could ever have made me happy. And now we have a chance to finally be together, just the two of us, so stop pushing me away! I won't have you pushing me into another woman's arms just because you think she’s right for me or because some Dragon told you so! It's _my_ choice and I choose _you_!”

“But… the true love’s kiss!” Merlin's eyes were glistening now. “It worked! Gwen lifted the love spell!”

Arthur huffed in annoyance. “Have you been listening to what I said? I told you I loved her, and I truly did, but I loved you more! Perhaps you took it too by the letter. Perhaps my mother would have been able to break the enchantment with a kiss to my forehead, if she was alive at the time. Or my father even. And I’d be willing to bet you might have been able to do it just as well. What I felt for you was true, Merlin. It still is.”

There was an eerie stillness in the air around them after those words, not even the wind could be heard, a silence more profound than Arthur had ever witnessed. He looked around and froze, just like everything around him.

The street wasn't desert, but the few people he could see were still as rock, stuck to the ground, frozen in between steps, defying equilibrium and gravity. There was a cat hovering in the air nearby, caught in the middle of a jump to a fence. Not even a leaf from a tree was moving.

“Merlin,” Arthur asked tentatively. “What have you done?”

When he looked at Merlin again, his eyes were filled with tears. “You can’t mean that,” he said. “Please, don’t say this unless you mean it.”

“I do! Every word,” Arthur insisted, momentarily forgetting about the time freeze.

Merlin was shaking his head. “You think you do, but that’s because I’m the only one left from the people you most cared about. You’ll learn to love these people too. You just have to give them a chance!”

“You think I realised it just now?” Arthur nearly shouted back and watched Merlin flinch. He cursed under his breath, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

Arthur had never been good in expressing his feelings, but Merlin definitely wasn’t making it any easier. He looked around, taking in their paralysed audience. Normally he refrained from any physical contact outside from Merlin’s place, but apparently Merlin had taken care of that by freezing time, so it wouldn’t make any harm this time. Besides, he was beginning to get desperate.

Arthur stepped forward, reaching for Merlin’s face. “Listen to me,” he pleaded, keeping his voice soft. This time, Merlin didn’t flinch away. He looked so vulnerable right now, so frail! “My last words to you, they should have been 'I love you’. Only I didn't think you would have believed me after everything I put you through. And I wanted them to mean something to you. Now I have the chance to show you, but you’ve got to let me.”

When Merlin didn’t react, Arthur leaned closer to him, joining their foreheads and closing his eyes. “Please, stop pushing me away. Let me prove it to you.”

Merlin let out a sob before bringing his hands up and around Arthur’s face. “I- I don’t-”

“ _Please_ ,” Arthur whispered into his mouth.

Merlin whimpered and joined their lips in a passionate kiss. He clung to Arthur as if his life depended on this. Arthur tried to put into his gestures all the reassurance and endearment he felt for this man.

“I love you so much it hurts,” Merlin confessed once they parted their kiss.

Arthur took Merlin’s hand and placed it on top of his heart. “I love you too,” he whispered back, even though the words seemed too little to express such an overwhelming feeling.

They stared deep at each other, like they could see into their very souls. Arthur suspected Merlin wasn’t convinced of his feelings just yet, but he vowed to change that with time.

“Come on,” Arthur said and grabbed Merlin by the arm, pulling him towards his building.

Arthur only half registered the people frozen around them, as the two of them broke into a run. The clock on Merlin's wall was as still as everything else when they got to Merlin's place, but Merlin should have lifted the spell at some point during the night, or else morning would never have come.

.Merlin.

Arthur woke up with a flash of light clearing the room. At first, he thought it to be a lightning, but then the light cleared the room again and did not fade away. Arthur opened his eyes and blinked to adjust them to the sudden brightness. Merlin was shifting beside him, rolling around the bed until he laid on his back. At first, Arthur thought he was awake, but then he noticed Merlin was dreaming, mumbling something in his sleep, his eyeballs rolling under his closed eyelids.

Arthur sat up and looked around, searching for the source of the light. It seemed to be escaping from the slits of a closed chest Merlin kept beside the dresser. Arthur grunted, certain that Merlin had forgotten one of his electronic devices on. He opened the dresser and had to look away with a grimace before the blinding brightness. When his pupils adjusted to the light, he looked again, finding a crystal lying inside it.

Merlin had told him about the Crystal of Neahtid, about how he had used it to have glimpses of the past and future. Arthur sighed, wondering if he should wake Merlin up. Merlin was probably having a nightmare and it was possible he had activated the magical object incidentally in his sleep. Arthur was considering throwing a cloth over it and going back to bed when his eyes caught movement and he squinted at the crystal.

It was showing a soundless image of Merlin. In the image, Merlin was sending a murderous look at a blue eyed woman Arthur had never seen before. She was wearing a red dress and standing in front of what looked like an altar. Merlin looked at the sky then and raised his hand, making the clouds gather, the sky darken and lightning strike. Unthinkingly, Arthur picked up the crystal to better look at it and his mind was suddenly flooding with sound. He could hear the electricity in the sky and the thunders obeying Merlin’s command. When Merlin lowered his hand, lightning struck down right over the woman and she shook with the force of it until she blew into pieces. Nimue, Arthur realized, remembering Merlin telling him that story, although without so much detail. Besides, it was one thing hearing what Merlin could do and another thing entirely seeing him doing it.

Arthur didn't have much time to think it through, for another image followed that one. The great dragon filled the crystal surface almost entirely, but Arthur could see himself knocked out on the ground beside Merlin. The dragon was leaning over them threateningly, but then Merlin stepped up to it and roared back at the creature, which bowed to him in obedience.

One after the other, the scenes followed, keeping Arthur frozen as he watched them. He saw a chained Merlin being stung by a giant scorpion and summoning the Great Dragon to save him. He saw Merlin confronting and defeating Morgana in Camelot’s Burial Vaults, single handedly defeating an army of enchanted skeletons by destroying the staff holding the spell. Merlin being thrown back to a wall by Morgana and reaching out despite the pain to send Morgause flying towards a pillar, violently knocking her out. Merlin then picking up a sword from the ground - Arthur’s sword - and knocking the Cup of Life off the pedestal it stood on, spilling the blood within it, turning the Immortal Army mortal again. Merlin protecting a dragon’s egg from a greedy thief. He saw Merlin’s face harden like stone as he pronounced himself the last Dragonlord and defeated the man with little effort. He saw a tied up Merlin standing up to Morgana while she promised to torture him. He saw the old and frail looking Merlin creating a whirlwind with his magic and throwing a frightened Morgana away like a rag doll. Merlin killing Agravaine out of self-defense with tears of deep regret in his eyes. Merlin saving Arthur from being beheaded by Odin’s executioner by whispering an incantation in a rich and foreign language and slapping his hand flat on the ground, causing an earthquake. Merlin being accused of betrayal and threatened by Mordred, but standing his ground without breathing a word to Arthur’s Knights...

Arthur gasped as he looked away from the crystal, as if pulled out of the memories. He allowed the stone to slide between his fingers and roll away. His heart was racing with the intensity of Merlin’s eyes and the impressive demonstration of his power. Arthur looked over his shoulder to where Merlin was still sleeping restlessly. His innocent and sweet Merlin.

Arthur sat down on the floor, resting his back on the side of the bed and rubbing his temples. How could the Merlin he just saw and the Merlin he knew be one and the same? Arthur was frightened, his hands were shaking. It wasn’t like Merlin hadn’t told him most of those things already, but seeing Merlin doing it with his bare hands… Witnessing so much power...

Arthur looked at the crystal still lying on the floor. It was glowing in steady pulses, as if calling him. He should probably wake Merlin up. He should probably resist. Hadn’t Merlin told him those things were tricky? What if it was trying to manipulate him? What if it was causing Merlin’s nightmare instead of being activated by them?

Before he knew it, Arthur was leaning forward and picking it up again. He took a deep breath and looked down.

He saw a younger Merlin destroying Sophia and her father by the shores of a lake. Merlin entering the lake and calling for Arthur in panic, diving until he found Arthur’s unresponsive form and brought him to the surface, keeping an arm protectively over his chest as he pulled Arthur to the shore. He saw Merlin looking haunted as he tried to block Mordred’s telepathic calls of help after the Dragon told him he should let the boy die. Merlin’s chest shaking with violent sobs as he wept over the lifeless body of his childhood friend, the same one who had taken an arrow to his chest in Arthur’s place. Merlin running for the Great Dragon after seeing Arthur’s limp and bloodied body being carried up the front of the castle and promising to do anything to save Arthur’s life. Merlin drenched in rain on the shores of Avalon with a dying girl cradled in his arms, pleading for her not to leave him, then gasping in pain once she was gone. Merlin offering poison for Morgana then holding her against his chest while she suffocated, crying silently. Merlin holding his dying father in his arms, beggin for him to allow Merlin to save him, then weeping over his lifeless body. Merlin sticking Arthur’s sword in a stone as if thrusting it through soft, boneless flesh, his eyes shining like gold. Merlin offering his life in trade for Arthur’s to the Cailleach and instead watching Lancelot walk through the veil in his place. Merlin leaning over Arthur’s pale body before Gaius’ attentive eyes and casting a powerful spell on his King’s heart, as if trying to push life back to him. Merlin crying openly when it didn’t seem to work, his face contorted with pain, only for him to laugh with pure and honest relief when Arthur proved to be alive and well. Merlin killin Albin, Sarrum’s champion, then watching another innocent die at the cross fire, this time a young boy.

And then he saw Merlin leaning over a boat, where Arthur’s mortally pale and still body was laid, cloak properly arranged and hands folded over his chest. Merlin’s eyes were swollen and red from too much crying as he placed a hand over Arthur's forehead and broke down again, weeping silently except for a few heartfelt sobs shaking his whole body. Merlin gathered himself together after some time, straightening up. He did not bother to wipe the tear tracks from his face. He said a few words and the boat set off on the lake in a fast and constant pace. Merlin watched silently as it moved towards the island in the middle of the lake until he could not hold it anymore. He started to cry once more.

Arthur was crying as well when he came to himself again, allowing the crystal to slip from his nearly frozen fingers. His bottom was starting to feel numb from the cold. He wiped his face and sniffed as he looked over his shoulder at Merlin.

Ever since he came back from the dead, Arthur had been aware that Merlin was trying to keep a strong front when he was shattered and broken inside. Arthur had seen it through the cracks, in the way he still woke up at night and checked Arthur’s pulse to make sure he was still breathing; in the way he looked a bit lost inside his own head every now and again; in the way he froze every time he read some worrying news in the paper, only to breath in relief at realizing it was happening too far away from Great Britain for them to be of any help.

Arthur had seen it and was determined to help him out of that state of mind, even if it took time and constant reassuring, but now Arthur wondered if Merlin might ever mend again.

Arthur gazed one last time to the crystal, standing in the floor right in front of him. The blinding light had diminished in intensity but it was still shining, still calling him, luring him to see more, but he could hear Merlin’s whimpering from the bed. He picked it up and placed it back inside the chest, resisting temptation. He knew there was still countless years of Merlin’s life he had no idea about, but he didn’t have to see anymore to know just how much Merlin had suffered and how strong he was to be still standing and ready to fight for this destiny he believed so much in. More than anything, he deserved some happiness, for a change.

Arthur climbed back on the bed and laid down beside Merlin’s agitated form, molding his body into Merlin's warm back. “Shh...” he soothed. “It’s alright. It was just a dream. Shhh...”

Merlin grabbed Arthur’s arm desperately as he woke up, startled. His heart was hammering in his chest. “Arthur?”

“I’m here,” Arthur assured, kissing Merlin’s shoulder and keeping him from getting up. “You were having a nightmare. It’s over now. Go back to sleep.”

For a moment, all they could hear was Merlin’s breathing as he tried to calm it down. When he spoke, his voice was rough from sleep. “You’re freezing. Where’ve you been?”

“Nowhere,” Arthur answered. “Bathroom. It’s cold.”

“Hm-hum,” Merlin agreed, but made no attempt to move away from him. He allowed Arthur to lace their fingers together and relaxed little by little until he fell asleep again, this time peacefully.

Arthur watched him all through what was left of the night.

.Merlin.

The first time Arthur noticed a same-sex couple, it was in the park during one of their evening runs. Merlin had given up after the third time around the perimeter and claimed he’d be waiting for Arthur sitting with his back against a tree. As Arthur run past a bench right in the open, he saw what looked like two girls kissing. He dismissed that possibility right away, since no one around them seemed to be sending them weird looks except for Arthur. One of them might as well be a boy with long hair; they were too skinny for Arthur to know for sure. By the time he reached Merlin slumbering by the tree, it had completely slipped his mind.

The second time he saw it, they were in London. Merlin had taken him on a trip to the city and Arthur had too much to take in at once. At the underground station, he had a glimpse of two boys talking with their faces intimately close, the taller with his arms around the shorter’s shoulders in a lovers embrace. Before Arthur could say anything, they had to move with the crowd to get in the car and then Arthur was too overwhelmed by the vehicle’s speed and the couple was completely washed away from his mind.

The third time was in the pub, while Merlin was performing. This time, they were no boys or girls, but two grown men sitting by a table like a couple, exchanging adoring smiles and holding each other’s hands as they ate and drunk and talked. When one of them grabbed the other’s chin and brought him closer for a peck on the lips, Arthur looked away, feeling like an intruder.

Arthur’s eyes fell on the bartender and he frowned, suspicious. As it was to be expected, the boy was neglecting the patrons in favor of drooling over Merlin. What if he really wasn’t trying to disguise his flirting?

What if he didn’t have to?

Arthur turned back to the couple, this time feeling a bit resentful of their carefree display of affection, as if they were the ones responsible for Arthur’s cluelessness of modern social rules. By the time Merlin came back to their table, the couple had already left the pub leaning into each other and holding hands, but Arthur was still sulking.

“What is it?” Merlin asked, noticing something was off.

“Nothing,” Arthur said, catching the bartender’s eyes on them once again. He had a sudden urge to break some bones. “I think I’ll get one last drink before heading back. Can I get you something?” He offered in a forced light tone as he stood up.

“Nah, I’m done for the night,” Merlin said, but stood up as well. “I’ll be right back.” He headed for the loo.

Arthur marched to the bar with a murderous gaze.

“How can I help you?” the bartender asked, seeming unimpressed by Arthur’s threatening stance.

“Well, since you asked,” Arthur said in a falsely polite tone and grabbed him by the collar of his uniform, nearly pulling him over the bar and watching him blanch. He noticed a few startled gasps of the patrons around them, but he was too far gone in his rage to care. “I want you to stop courting Merlin. Can’t you see he’s not interested? Or are you that idiot?”

“D-Dude,” the boy stuttered, struggling to get free and knocking a few glasses in the process. “What the fuck-”

Arthur leaned closer to the frightened boy’s face, lowering his voice so that no one around them could hear what he was about to say. “I don’t know how you got Andrea to keep you, but I can tell you’re a terrible servant and you’re only here because of Merlin, so I’m giving you the chance to leave before I kick you out myself.”

Arthur let go of him and watched him stumble backwards, desperate to put some safe distance between them.

“Arthur!” came Andrea’s worried call as she approached them from behind the bar. “Joe, are you alright? What’s going on here?”

Arthur didn’t care to answer. He simply turned around and walked towards the exist. Merlin joined him as he was getting both their coats. “What happened? I think I heard something breaking?”

Arthur shrugged. “It’s probably that lousy bartender. I have no idea why Andrea hired him in the first place.”

“He’s not that bad,” Merlin said distractedly, but followed him out without further questioning.

Arthur had to take a few breaths of chilly air to refrain from lashing out right away. Nearly a month had passed since he’d come back and the weather was getting colder. It hadn’t rained for a week and the streets had been lit up with blinking lights and all kinds of ornaments for a festivity to come. It was a beautiful night, despite the low temperature.

“Is it socially accepted now for two people of the same gender to be together?” Arthur asked once he was calm enough.

Merlin eyed him with a frown, his hands stuck in his pockets as they walked side by side. “Why the question now?”

Arthur arched his eyebrow at him, his nostrils flaring. “I saw two guys on a date, tonight.”

Merlin averted his eyes and shrugged. “Mostly, yes. Some people still condemn it, mainly for religious beliefs, but they are fewer and fewer. At some places around the world, they can even get married and start a family.”

Arthur came to a halt, shocked. They could get married? “And you did not deem it important to tell me that?” he reprimanded, indignant.

Merlin shrugged again. “There’s plenty of things I haven’t told you about just yet.”

“Merlin, I’ve been watching people flirting with you for weeks now and I thought I would never be able to show them you were taken! Even that stupid bartender! How did you expect me to compete with that?”

“What?” Merlin seemed confused. “Compete with what? And what does Joe has to do with this?”

“He was openly courting you from day one and I thought I was being oversuspicious, because _how could he dare to_? I thought it was still inconceivable!”

Merlin shook his head. “You’re probably being oversuspicious. And it’s a very recent thing, this tolerance towards sexual diversity. Not that long ago, it was treated as a disease.” He looked down at his own feet. “Besides, I didn’t want you to think I was putting pressure on you on something you might not be ready for. I don’t mind if you want to keep it just to ourselves for now-”

Arthur cut him off by pulling his arm, forcing his hand out of his pocket and lacing his own fingers with Merlin’s. Arthur watched Merlin's face closely as he kept his eyes down, staring dumbly at their joined hands.

“Did you know the Knights knew about us?” Arthur asked, watching Merlin look up slowly, seeming puzzled.

“What? Who?”

“Leon, Gwaine, Percival and the others,” Arthur said. “The ones closer to us. It was Elyan who told me.”

Merlin’s mouth was hanging stupidly. “H-How?”

Arthur shrugged. “They found out, somehow. And I think they pretended not to know just so we wouldn’t have to explain ourselves. But they supported us and protected our secret.”

Merlin looked down on their joined hands again, as if he couldn’t believe it was happening.

“Only now I realize it don’t have to be a secret anymore. And I want people to know you’re with me,” Arthur said determinedly. “I’m done with watching them flirt with you on that stage and doing nothing about it.”

Merlin seemed to snap out of his daze at that. “So, basically, you’re stating your claim on me. And here I was thinking you were being romantic.”

“I’ll show you romantic later,” Arthur promised.

Merlin grinned back at him, but soon sobered up. “Are you sure about this? It might not be easy. People might look at you differently. They might not respect you as much as they did before.”

Arthur considered it for a moment, taking in Merlin’s honest concern. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” As soon as he said the words, he realized Merlin’s career might be affected as well. “How about you?” He amended, dreading the answer to that question.

Maybe he was being selfish again, acting purely out of jealousy and stepping over Merlin’s own choice. He should also have a say in this, Arthur had to remind himself. Maybe _Merlin_ didn’t want to pay that price.

Merlin smiled shyly at first, but his face soon lit up all the way. He shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

Arthur breathed out in relief and smiled back.

As they resumed walking hand in hand, people walked past them as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. In the meantime, Arthur was experiencing a life-changing realization. For the first time it felt like he belonged in this time and age.

He had never believed in all that fate nonsense, he honestly never had. Most of the time, he felt hatred towards those who had convinced Merlin of their so called destiny and urged him to fulfill it, all the while playing him like a fool.

At the same time Arthur couldn't help but feel grateful that he had been brought back now that they could be together in the open. Perhaps there was truly a purpose behind this, although it might not be exactly what Merlin believed it to be.

.Merlin.

Janete was shocked when Arthur kissed Merlin during their training the next day, after taking him down with a swift move. Although clearly disappointed, she never stopped showing up with her friends to the park and to the pub and Arthur was glad for that, since she was really nice to be around.

Andrea was a bit cold towards Arthur that night, reprimanding him for his violent outburst and blaming him for making her new employee quit.

“You did _what_?” Merlin asked, disbelieving.

“I actually did you a favor, then,” Arthur addressed the bar owner. “I’m sure your patrons won’t miss him. Besides, he shouldn’t have messed with Merlin.”

Merlin grunted, hiding his face in his open palms. “Please tell me you didn’t hurt Joe,” he said in their old language.

Arthur shrugged. “He’ll survive.”

Merlin dropped his hands with a sigh. “Well, I guess _some_ things never change. And I should probably be relieved you didn’t challenge him to a duel or something.”

“I figured it wouldn’t be fair to him. I doubt he had ever held a sword in his life,” Arthur said disdainfully.

“How very thoughtful of you.”

Arthur’s mood soured at Merlin’s sarcasm. “So the boy’s gone. Are you really that upset about it? Do you miss him, or something?”

Merlin rolled his eyes, although there was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “No, I don’t miss him. I actually don’t care that much that he’s gone. He wasn’t that good a bartender, to be honest.” He reached for Arthur’s arm. “Just don’t go around scaring people, alright? You could get arrested for physical assault if he presses charges!”

Arthur huffed. “Don’t worry. He’s probably too busy hiding under his bed right now, the coward.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said in a warning tone.

“Alright, I won’t go around scaring people, I promise. Are you happy?”

Merlin smiled, squeezing his arm. “I am, thank you.” He got to his feet, looking sheepishly at Andrea as if only then realizing she was still there, watching their exchange silently. “Well,” he said, switching back to English, “if you don’t mind, I have a show to perform. Excuse me.”

“Hey, aren’t you forgetting something?” Arthur asked, grabbing his arm and pulling him back down for a quick peck on the lips.

Merlin blushed as he averted Andrea’s eyes, but he didn’t care to hide his smile as he walked to the stage under applause.

“Well, that certainly throws some light on yesterday’s happenings,” Andrea said, smiling knowingly. “I’m happy for you, you know? And not just because you decided to move on, but also because I haven’t seen Marlon happier since I met him.”

“Thank you,” Arthur nodded, only then realizing how worried he had been about the woman’s reaction.

“I’m sure his grandfather will be proud as well, when he learns about the two of you over his vacation. And I’ll have a few words with that pig-headed fool if he gives you two any trouble,” she said sternly and patted Arthur’s hand before turning to head back to the bar.

“Um, Andrea,” Arthur asked before she could go too far. “I’d like to ask you a favor.”

“Oh?” She exclaimed, frowning curiously. “What is it, dear?”

Arthur cleared his throat, suddenly feeling unsure. “I need a job.”

“Oh!” Andrea looked surprised. “You mean you want to fill in Joe’s opening at the bar?”

“If you’ll allow me.”

Andrea assessed him more carefully. “Have you ever worked at a pub?”

“No. But I can learn how to,” he added quickly. “It can’t be that difficult.”

Andrea crossed her arms sternly. “You realize you’ll be serving Marlon's devoted audience, right? There’ll be plenty of flirting going around and I won’t tolerate you mistreating the patrons out of jealousy.”

Arthur had indeed realized that. “I don’t expect you to,” he assured her. He frowned then. “Although accidents happen.”

The pub owner considered it for a moment before nodding her agreement. “Alright, follow me.”

.oOo.

At first, Merlin was too shocked to react to the notion that Arthur was willing to work at all, let alone as a _bartender_. Then he started to protest that there was absolutely no need for it, that he was making enough money for the two of them. Arthur insisted he was going on with it and claimed to have made the decision out of boredom, but the truth was he could use the money and he wasn’t comfortable in asking Merlin for it, especially when he was planning on surprising him.

Meanwhile, Arthur was actually enjoying the challenge of the new occupation. Truth be told, he was tempted to spill the drink in some of the patrons’ faces one too many times, but every now and then Merlin dedicated one of his most intricate tricks to his ‘boyfriend’ at the bar and it eased some of Arthur’s murderous cravings for a short while. He contented himself with looking menacing so that Merlin’s admirers would think twice before messing with what was his.

Arthur didn’t particularly like the word ‘boyfriend’, especially because he didn’t think it encompassed what they truly were to each other. Their love had defied time and death, after all. Still, Merlin seemed to be happy with the definition, so Arthur found it best to leave that discussion for another day.

As time passed and the festivities finally came, Merlin and Arthur watched the fireworks outside the pub together with the crowd. Merlin told him what to expect, but it did not prevent Arthur from startling at the loud noises, at first. After the initial fright, though, he lost himself in the beauty of the patterns in the sky.

“Are you sure this is not work of magic?” Arthur shouted over his neck to be heard as they stood by the lakeshore, his back pressed into Merlin’s chest.

“Yep!” Merlin confirmed merrily. “It’s all their doing.”

Arthur could not precise how much time had passed until a big shape emerged in the sky, making people gasp and cheer as it flew up until it faded away in the night sky. It had been a huge dragon, its shape and size so familiar, Arthur had to look back at Merlin, finding a guilty smile on his lips.

“Well, perhaps it's not _all_ their doing after all,” Merlin whispered into his ear.

“Merlin!” Arthur reprimanded, even though he was smiling as well.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since I read Lord of The Rings,” Merlin admitted sheepishly.

Arthur frowned. “Since you read what?”

Merlin shook his head. “Never mind.” He brought Arthur closer, forcing him to look ahead again as he nuzzled into his neck.

Arthur could not remember ever feeling so happy and complete. He was starting to believe the Great Dragon had been right in at least one thing, after all. They were indeed two sides of the same coin.

.oOo.

After the fireworks, Merlin went back inside the pub for a special midnight show. The pub had been so crowded lately that Arthur chose to linger by the lake instead of coming in, figuring Andrea wouldn’t mind taking care of the bar for a while longer. Everybody else had followed Merlin inside, happy to leave the cold air behind and Arthur could see light coming from every window of their village as well as hear the laughter and cheers coming from the pub every now and then.

He was watching the moon reflected on the water when something else called his attention. There was a reflex of a girl in the water, her eyes sad and her features slightly familiar.

“Freya,” Arthur said, remembering Merlin's story about the lady of the lake and recognizing her from the images on the crystal. His mind filled with the memory of Merlin's suffering at her death. He couldn’t help but sound wary of the girl Merlin had loved so dearly once.

She lowered her head in a small reverence, the corners of her lips pulling up in a friendly smile.

And then a thought occurred to Arthur. He was careful to use the old language as he addressed her, just in case someone could hear him. “Have you been watching out for Merlin all this time?”

Her smile became sad again as she nodded in agreement.

Arthur frowned, shifting from foot to foot. Was that out of gratefulness or did she love Merlin just that much yet? He was not sure if he could handle the answer, so he refrained himself from posing it.

“Can you speak?” He asked instead.

“Yes I can,” she said in a soft voice.

Arthur crouched down to even their stances, although he kept his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “If I ask you a question, can you answer in all honesty? And I mean no riddles as well?”

“I can try,” she assured. “I fear I don’t have all the answers, though.”

“The prophecy, it was never about me, was it?”

Freya considered the question for a moment. “Would you believe me if I said it was?”

_No_ , Arthur thought, but he didn’t voice it.

Freya must have read the answer from his pose, for she continued. “You are a great leader. People follow you.”

“And you have not answered my question.”

Freya sighed then. “Even if it wasn’t set in stone, Merlin chose you, so he made it about you.”

“But we never managed to fulfill it. We didn't bring magic back to Albion.”

“Because Merlin allowed his feelings to get in the way. He was supposed to show you how magic could be used for good, but in the end, he cared more about keeping you safe and protecting you from finding out about his secret than in properly fulfilling the prophecy.”

Arthur huffen angrily. “So they punished him by sentencing me to die by Mordred’s hand and making him wait fifteen hundred years on his own?”

Freya winced at those words. “I hope you don’t think I’m one of ‘them’. I chose to stay here to help Merlin and to guard the sword. All I know is from watching and hearing.”

Arthur eyed her with resentment at realizing she had stayed all this time with Merlin while Arthur was dead. Why hadn’t he had the chance to make a choice on that matter? He should have been there for Merlin, not her! She had only met Merlin for a couple of days in her lifetime, while Arthur had been Merlin’s friend and lover for years!

“You have no reason to worry,” Freya said, her eyes becoming sad again. “He’s always been yours.”

“And yet, he was willing to give up his destiny to elope with you,” Arthur said bitterly.

Freya shook her head. “Only because he was feeling lonely and rejected by you. In the end, I don’t believe he would have run away with me if he had actually had the chance. He wouldn’t have stayed away from you for long. His heart has always belonged to you alone.”

She sounded so melancholic that for a moment Arthur pitied her. Perhaps she was as much a victim of those cruel gods’ wills as they were. Besides, he probably shouldn’t blame her for loving Merlin this much.

Arthur run his hand over his face, sighing. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking around. “Why did they bring me back now, then? I had some influence back then, but I’m no King anymore. I’m a nobody. This world does not need me.”

Freya hesitated before her next words. “There’s a war coming,” she said in a small voice, making Arthur look back at her. Her brow was furrowing in concern. “A war the world has not seen and may not survive. Mankind has developed weapons so powerful they can destroy a small continent in a blink and the whole world in the long run. Only Merlin’s magic can stop them from extinguishing life on Earth.”

_That_ Arthur could understand. It made more sense that Merlin was the one with the power to be of use in this kind of situation.

It still did not explain Arthur’s return, thought.

“And what’s my part in it?” he asked.

“Like I said, you’re a born leader. Humankind will need someone to follow when it happens, someone who won’t deliberately manipulate them for their own gain and whim.”

“No one’s more selfless than Merlin. I’m certainly not.”

“Perhaps, but he’s spent his whole life in the shadows.”

_In my shadow,_ Arthur thought. Even while Merlin was worshipped by the druids, he had barely acknowledged his power and he only used his legacy over the dragons as a last resort.

“I don’t have any influence now,” Arthur repeated instead of arguing about that. “How do they expect me to lead this people?”

“Merlin will help you with that. His followers are growing by the day. People are coming from the entire continent to watch him. Soon they will come from all around the world.”

Arthur looked back at the pub at hearing another round of cheering. As much as it annoyed him, he was happy that Merlin was finally opening up to the world again. He seemed happier and more carefree than Arthur had deemed possible after everything he had gone through.

“Merlin needs you, Arthur,” Freya continued, as if she could read his mind. “You should have seen how nonreactive he’s been without you. He needs a reason to move on.”

Arthur lost himself in thoughts for a moment. He remembered the despair in Merlin’s eyes as he watched Arthur’s funeral boat float to Avalon and pictured him as an old man, watching that same island day and night, waiting for Arthur to return to him while the world crumbled all around him.

Deep down, Arthur still had his doubts about that talk of destiny. He knew Freya and the ancient gods could be playing him for some selfish reason or simply for entertainment, just like they very likely did with Merlin. Yet, he had no intention on turning his back on Merlin and if there was really a war coming, Arthur would not shy away from fighting for justice.

He looked back at Freya, who watched him in silent expectation. He sighed. “If you’re asking me if I’ll stand by his side and help him when the time comes, then you and your gods have nothing to worry about. I’m not planning on leaving him, now or ever again. But I’m not doing it for some prophecy nonsense. I’m doing it for him.”

Freya looked relieved. “I would not expect anything less.”

“Arthur!”

Arthur snapped his head up to glance over his shoulder towards the pub, where Andrea was waving at him. Arthur glanced back at the lake, but Freya was gone. He got up and walked to meet the pub owner.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re there!” she was saying. “Marlon’s fretting in there, calling out for you. He wants to make a toast!”

Arthur frowned. “He wants to make cooked bread? And why would he need me for that?”

Andrea laughed, hooking her arm with Arthur’s as they walked back. “Not that toast, my dear. The one that involves drinks and celebration. We better hurry. You know how antsy our _Merlin_ gets when his _Arthur_ ’s not around. He actually referred to you as ‘His Royal Prattishness’, just so you know.”

Arthur laughed. “Well, what if the legends got this wrong? If I were to be this King Arthur fellow, Merlin would be my court jester. It’d be more fitting for him than the powerful old sorcerer. What do you think?”

Andrea stopped by the pub’s door to assess him with fondness. “I think whatever they were, they could never be more fitting together than the both of you.”

Arthur nodded his appreciation for her understanding. She opened the door and they stepped in together.

.Merlin.

“Alright,” Merlin sighed, keeping his eyes ahead. “Promise you won’t walk around with the sword on your belt and challenge people for duels?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “What do you take me for, Merlin? I might not be from this century but I’m not dumb.”

“Well…” Merlin seemed uncertain.

Arthur elbowed him on the ribs. “Shut up and do it already.”

“Alright, fine!”

Merlin let go of Arthur’s hand and raised his own, saying a few words. Arthur watched in awe as the sword came out of the lake’s surface, held upright by a bare and pale arm. The arm swung the blade towards them and Arthur caught it deftly in the air.

Arthur inspected it closely, watching out for any sign of rusting for being in the water for so long, but it was perfectly preserved and looking sharp as ever. He swung it, testing it’s weight, marvelling at the familiarity of it. He sliced the air with it, then moved it in circles with one hand only.

He stopped when he heard a chuckle.

“What?” Arthur asked straightening up.

Merlin showed his palms. “Nothing!”

Arthur narrowed his eyes at him, but let it slip. He grabbed his sword with both hands, then took a deep breath before looking at Merlin again. “Kneel,” he said.

“What?” Merlin sounded half amused and half affronted. “I said it was nothing, alright? You don't need to sound all bossy now just because you got your sword back.”

Arthur sighed, praying for patience. “Merlin-”

“What, are you forcing me to apologize now? I wasn't even laughing at you!”

“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur exasperated. “Would you do as I say for once? I said get on one knee!”

Merlin froze then, seeming to realize Arthur's formal stance. “Oh.”

“Do it already. Before I change my mind,” Arthur urged.

Merlin looked about to ask something when he thought better of it. He stepped forward slowly and got on one knee, his curious eyes intent on Arthur's. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I'm the King, even if only to you now. Besides, it's not like I have that many options.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Clotpole.”

“Still not a word, Merlin. I've checked.”

Merlin merely grinned back at him.

“Alright,” Arthur squared his shoulders again. “Let's do this.”

Arthur raised his sword and Merlin looked down solemnly. Arthur hovered the flat of the blade over Merlin's shoulders, one at a time. “Arise Sir Merlin, Knight of Camelot and Court Sorcerer.”

Merlin gasped at that, looking up at him in awe. Arthur offered to help him get on his feet. Merlin grasped Arthur’s forearm and stood up slowly, his eyes shining as the corners of his mouth pulled slightly up. He didn't let go.

“We'll have to find you an actual sword,” Arthur said, trying to lighten the mood. “And let's not forget the properly shining armour.”

Merlin squinted at him, although the playful smile persisted. “You’re different.”

Arthur frowned in confusion at the change of subject. “What do you mean?”

Merlin studied him, taking a step closer. “I don't know. It's almost like you’re trying really hard not to be a pompous ass anymore. I mean you’ve gotten yourself a job; you haven't ordered me around that much; you’ve been preparing your own bath for some time now; you’ve learned to dress yourself… You’ve even buttered your own toast this morning! Next thing you'll be doing the laundry and washing the dishes after dinner!”

Arthur shrugged, averting his eyes. “You know what they say, Merlin, if you want something done well, do it yourself.”

Merlin snorted. “Of course. Couldn't have realized it back in Camelot, could you? Carried your own hot water upstairs, fetched your own breakfast, mucked your horses...”

“But then I’d have to sack you again, for you would have been of no use whatsoever. Why would I put up with your annoying babbling if not for getting the lowly work done while I got the real important business taken care of, like ruling the Kingdom?”

“Ah, I see the old you is still in there,” Merlin sighed exaggeratedly. “I take back what I just said. Nothing's changed.”

Merlin made to move away, but Arthur caught his arm and pulled him closer after sheathing his sword.

“Well, I’d say some things _have_ changed.” Arthur grabbed hold of both of Merlin’s hands, then it was his turn to get down on one knee.

Merlin seemed surprised, but he tried to disguise it with a laugh. “What are you-”

Arthur saw the change in Merlin’s face, the way his eyebrows shot up and his mouth hung open as he stared at something behind Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur didn’t have to look back to know what he was seeing. He had taken advantage of the spell Merlin had cast to keep them hidden from prying eyes and asked Freya specifically to make something like an Aurora Borealis on the lake water. Now he could see the colors reflected on Merlin’s face as they changed, one after the other.

“Merlin,” Arthur said, calling Merlin’s shining eyes back on his face. “I know I never valued you in the past. I took you for granted when it became clear nothing I did would ever push you away and I only realized how much you really meant to me when it was too late. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how short of long it is. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Merlin’s breath hitched and a tear escaped his left eye. Arthur waited holding his own breath, but Merlin seemed to be paralysed.

“Say something,” Arthur said under his breath, frowning.

Merlin blinked. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, but no sound came out.

“Say _yes_!” Arthur specified before his insecurities could take hold of him.

“ _Yes_!” Merlin nearly shouted, finally holding Arthur’s hand back. “Yes, I will!”

Arthur allowed the corner of his lip to pull up as he exhaled in relief. He reached inside the front pocket of his shirt and took the ring he had bought with the money he earned from working at the bar. It had Camelot’s crest engraved on it together with their initials. He nearly got the wrong finger, as it seemed to have changed now, but he caught himself on time and slid the ring on the second, starting from the little finger.

Merlin raised his hand to examine it in awe, then kneeled - although Arthur suspected his knees had given out - and threw his arms around Arthur’s neck, kissing him fervently and nearly toppling them over. Arthur ended up sitting on the lake shore with a lapful of Merlin.

“Are you intent on killing me of joy tonight?” Merlin asked, panting into Arthur’s lips. “First you knight me, then you name me Court Sorcerer, then you ask me to be your consort-”

“Husband,” Arthur corrected. “We’re equals now, remember?”

“Fuck,” Merlin closed his eyes, smiling. “Say it again.”

“I want you to be my husband.”

Merlin laughed in delight. “I wish you hadn’t taken so long to come back, but I’m glad you chose to show up this century.”

Arthur caressed Merlin’s face dearly. “I’m glad to be back, period.”

Merlin smiled brightly, kissing him sweetly on the lips one last time before getting up and offering him his hand. “Now let's find that sword _and_ a shining armour already. I'm a Knight now, I have to dress properly, if only for us to take a few pictures of this moment. After all, I waited fifteen hundred years for it to happen. Actually, I’m afraid we’ll have to enact the Knighting Ceremony and the proposal all over again once we find the suits of armour. Otherwise no one will believe it when I tell them at the pub.”

Arthur laughed and shook his head as Merlin turned around and walked away from the lake and back to the street. Arthur was about to follow him when he caught Freya's reflection on the water. She smiled and nodded at him. Arthur nodded back before turning his back on her as well and following Merlin.

oOo The End oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you all enough for bearing with me all through this journey.
> 
> When I first started writing this fic, I thought I would never have the guts to post it and yet here we are! Your support means a lot to me and I'm relieved it's finally done, so now I can move on with other stuff.
> 
> I hope I'll see you again soon!


End file.
